I remember

"I don't wanna go. I don't like fireworks."

I should have listened to my girl. She remembered well the panic Glasgow Green's firework display induced in her last year. Her memory is amazing and goes back not just a year, but in some instances longer. I treasure the things she will remember, and wonder if there always has to be an element of fear.

So Cubling remembers a trip to Cumbrae, when we cycled around the island, and saw a rock resembling a face, which when shouted at, gave us an echo. She remembers it's close to her grandparents, that we took a ship there, that we cycled and that there was also a rock crocodile. She remembers shouting at the face and that it's scary, that she doesn't want to see it again.

Then she remembers the fireworks and made it clear she doesn't want to go again. We went anyway, to a smaller, local display, and she reluctantly agreed to come along (only after we promised that the fireworks weren't going to be as big and as noisy, mummy ones, not daddy ones in her words - can I add that mummy usually shouts louder than daddy?)

So she was happy running about and playing with her light toy, a piece of plastic tat that I reluctantly bought her. Just as well I did, because as soon as the lights went out and the first firework lit the sky with a bang, she burst into tears, panic stricken, seriously distressed. All reassurance was in vain and we had to leave the event. At least the light toy was a pleasant memory to be had of the evening. In her own words, she'll not go back next year, "not when I'm four, but when I go to school" (that'll be 5 then).

Lanterns are ok though, they don't bang. She explained to me before we went that she'll use the lantern to collect leaves - as she did last year. And so she did. Lanterns make perfect leaf containers really. The next day she used the leaves to cook soup. Yummy. Leaf collecting in lanterns, at last a memory that doesn't involve fear. I'm relieved. Delighted too, because it demonstrates how the marking of seasonal festivals provide lasting memories for children and parents, shared memories that will be retold again and again, a bit like I'm strengthening my own memories by blogging about these special moments.

At the end of the parade, Cubling sang at the top of her voice "Mein Licht ist aus, wir geh'n nach Haus'" (my light is off we're going home) and switched off her lantern.

(And I remember it was as difficult to take a decent photo at the St Martin's lantern parade last year...)

6 step plan to boost the minority language

I have a cunning plan. I've told Cubling that Snowflake only understands German. Couple that with me spending more time with Cubling (in theory, I'm sure we'll get there in time, at the moment she's rather neglected when she's at home with me and Snowflake), this surely must, no will, lead to an explosion of her minority language.

So, now that I'm on maternity leave, this is my plan to increase her active use of German, which is not just lagging behind English by miles, but also not developing much (while she surprises us every day with new words and constructions in English):

1. Monday mornings we will meet up with the mums and kids from the German Kinderclub.
We are lucky to have a German parent group and it's a great opportunity that we can now attend. I even changed nursery times so we could accommodate it. Initially, I had my doubts about the effectiveness - the club isn't very structured and mums chat while kids play (and if you let Cubling just play by herself, she'll speak English). There is some singing at the end, sometimes some craft activity organised by a parent, other than that, there is a real temptation to spend the two hours just chatting to other mums. However, I've noticed that even if I don't make a massive effort to engage with Cubling and the other children during the two hours (though I generally try to spend at least half the time engaging with Cubling), she will still use more German just after the club. So somehow, it's working.

2. I'll insist that Cubling speaks German only to Snowflake. So far so good, though there's a bit of disappointment that Snowflake doesn't speak back.

3. This is the hard bit. I'm trying to insist more on Cubling speaking German to me, and not respond if she speaks English. It's hard because she always speaks English to me, and even when making an effort, her idea of effort is still to only say nouns and verbs in German. In practice this means that after every sentence I mirror the same sentence in German and ask her to repeat. I hate doing this. She's ok with it, and she's at least not yet reluctant to do this. It's a strategy I can only use when on my own with her, it just doesn't work when in English speaking company.

4. Try to make friends with a couple of German parents. Our best German friends (well, German/Canadian to be precise) have moved away so if I'm lazy, Cubling will not have much opportunity to hear German from adults or children other than myself and the TV. I loathe how contrived this sounds, and is, to go out there in the search of friends so that my child is exposed to German more often. I'm not going to do well on this one, I'm not one who makes friends easily in the best circumstances, nevermind with alternate motives. At the same time, I've not socialised much in the last few years due to lack of time, so it's hight time anyway to rekindle some connections and friendships.

5. This is another difficult decision. Cubling will stop attending the outdoor kindergarten for the months that I'm on maternity leave. Instead, we'll join a group of parents and toddlers who go outdoors on the same day of the week. The reason for this is that it gives me an extra day of interaction with Cubling and while none of the other parents speak German, I hope that we can still combine some outdoor play with more exposure to German.

6. When Cubling plays by herself (which she now does) and I'm in the room, I interject and try to switch her imaginative play to German (she chatters non-stop when playing, all in English of course). This is what I did with the Spanish boy I taught German as an au-pair, he was 4 then, and after 6 months his German did improve significantly this way (to be fair, I can't take full credit as he also attended a German pre-school).

Some things we're doing already: all TV Cubling watches are German language DVDs, and obviously my bedtime reading is in German always. Our plan where we'd have an hour where the whole house speaks German only hasn't happened, our days are just too unpredictable with a newborn around and different nursery times each day.