The Normality of Breastfeeding

I live in a place where breastfeeding is the exception rather than the norm. It came as a surprise to me when I was first presented with this fact, about 10 years ago, when a friend of mine had a baby and was the only new mum in the 13 bed ward who was breastfeeding. I also remember being asked in a questionnaire why I chose to breastfeed - and that my reason (because it's the normal way of feeding a newborn) was not an option.

It makes me wonder if the low breastfeeding rates in certain places may be related with formula feeding being perceived as the norm, and if re-establishing breastfeeding as the norm may lead to improved breastfeeding rates.

One example where formula feeding was established as the norm was when someone decided to base the growth charts on formula fed babies. This has since been changed - so this time around, Snowflake is measured against growth charts of breastfed babies (and following her line spot on) while Cubling was measured against formula fed babies (and kept dropping as time went on, giving me a lot of worry if I was doing the right thing). Although these charts gave me worry with Cubling, I never questioned them. But now that I'm more relaxed about weight gain, and can see my own different attitude and how the new chart gives me confidence that things are going well, I realise how crucial this change is. Hopefully it will give confidence to many breastfeeding mums, and more than that, demonstrate that the norm against which baby growth is measured is that of a breastfed baby.

At nursery, Cubling has been learning all about babies. It's been a great theme, just at the right time. She comes home and continues the role play with her favourite teddy (she's not into dolls as such, her teddy is her baby, it's a girl and her name is Snowflakes middle name). She tells me all about why babies cry, that they can't walk yet, that they visited the baby room and how proud she is that she has a real baby at home. She'll change nappies, wipes teddy bums, dresses teddy for bed and outdoors. And she's filling up bottles to give milk to teddy.

Mummy cringes. All my nursing and my daughter at 3 years already fills up bottles (of the breast pump at least, but bottles they are nonetheless).
I cringe even more because when I dropped Cubling off at nursery one day, and Snowflake was crying (I didn't get the timing of feeds right), a nursery teacher passed and asked Cubling if her baby sister needed a bottle.
Bless Cubling, she just retorted by saying "no!" and pointing to her breast.
What it shows though is that at nursery, the message given out to our youngest is that the normality of baby feeding is the bottle (filled with formula, why else would you measure milk?) - possibly out of a false sense of prudishness (I'm guessing). It's an opportunity lost, an opportunity to re-establish the normality of breastfeeding in an area of Glasgow where the rates are bound to be doddling around the 10% mark.

And I'm particularly disappointed because this is a nursery that prides itself in its eco status, it's environmental awareness and does generally so well in these areas. Shouldn't this not also translate into some gentle encouragement of the message that breastfeeding is normal? It's not about promoting breastfeeding, just about treating it as the norm, to which there will always be exceptions.

Have you experienced situations where breastfeeding wasn't/isn't treated as the norm? Should I take this up with the nursery?

a trip to the big shiny lights or the one where mummy took the wrong train home

Today I was brave. I packed up Snowflake in her sling, took Cubling by the hand and left the house at 11.45 am destination City Centre. We were late, our idea was to make it to the children's theatre show "The Shoemaker and the Elves" for 12.30. Sometimes though, toddlers can cooperate and Cubling ran to the train station and from the train station to the Scottish Youth Theatre. We made it, just, but we did, at a speed which was equivalent to my normal childfree fast walking pace.

Cubling wasn't sure at first, all the darkness and so many people and children, then the props and strange people behaving oddly interacting with her. She clung to her mummy, until half way through the show, curiosity got the better of her and transformed her into her usual assertive self. She kind of took over ... I'm not sure where she's got that confidence and energy from, it's certainly not me. I find it rather amusing, cute, but sometimes, it's worrying. She'll make friends with strangers in no time and I can't get myself to give her a stranger danger talk, destroying that innocent trust in people that she has. Trust is a good thing, we don't trust enough and it's refreshing to see how trusting a 3 year old can be who hasn't been disappointed by life yet.

After a feeding three hungry mouth's break, we went on. Thanks to it being October week, there was also a music workshop for children on, one of the type that we had tried and dismissed when Cubling was 15 months. Then, she would not sit still or participate in circle activities, while moving all the time and generally causing disapproving looks and words. While I knew that she really enjoyed it, I didn't like the attitude towards my slightly more energetic toddler, and we didn't return. Now, she took control. She loved every second of it, participated in every suggested activity and watched the facilitators every move, listened to her every word, to get it just right. She was almost a bit overbearing in comparison to the quieter children. Ambivalently, I admired her and worried that she may become girl that may be a bit on the pushy side.
It is strange to see her confidence, it's so unlike my own toddler self.

So we had a bit of a culture shock in the Big City. When daddy came home, what did she remember of the day?
"I goed on the train! I walked into a door and banged my head! I had a slice of carrot cake! Then mummy took the wrong train home!"

So much for the fruits of the effort of dragging two kids into the Scottish Youth Theatre and the National Youth Choir for some theatre and music education. Sigh.