Pregnancy and medical advice

It is hayfever season. We're having a dry spell in Scotland, which makes things rather unbearable. When trailing through pregnancy forums, you wouldn't believe the number of pregnant women complaining about how they aren't allowed to take antihistamines and how badly they are suffering as a consequence.

For some while now, I've been adding my threepence worth of opinion but I'm alone. Ask any GP, pharmacist or midwife and you will be advised against taking any antihistamines. The same goes for nasal sprays, cough medicine, and of course alcohol. With all of these, if you bother to do some research, there is no proven risk to the fetus.

I say this again: there is no proven risk to the fetus if you take certain antihistamines (there are exceptions; but many antihistamines fall into this category), drink alcohol without getting drunk or use nasal sprays.

Yet pregnant women are strongly advised not to take the risk. A risk that hasn't been quantified. A risk that hasn't been investigated because nobody wants to do any research on the unborn life. A risk that may not exist.

And we, the pregnant women of the western world, are happy to follow this medical advise and suffer.

It is not something I take lightly - I've suffered from hayfever since I was 12, and asthma from 27. Thankfully, Scottish flora is kind on me and I only have to suffer a few months, but those months are tough. I can't go out without instant unbearable itching and sneezing. If I didn't take antihistamines, I'd be confined to my home, unable to do anything outdoors. Anything. And then someone tells me that there is an unproven risk to my baby if I take antihistamine for a couple of months and yes, I'd better stay indoors all that time.

Well, you know what? I've chosen to take antihistamines in both my pregnancies. As I've taken nasal spray for some of my now 7 head and chest colds since I had the bfp. When I was told off by my midwife for drinking 1 unit of alcohol a week, I giggled in disbelief (but kept my mouth shut). My pregancy notes actually state that I have been advise to give up drinking. WTF! I'm not drinking. I have a half glass of wine ONCE A WEEK. There's more alcohol in ripe fruit.

Somehow society is going out of its way to tell pregnant women about risks to their babies and their responsibility to eliminate any possible risk, regardless of the reality of the risk or quality of life to the pregnant woman. While real risks are entirely ignored. While listening to Women's Hour it was made more than crystal clear: misuse of alcohol does result in fetal death. Not because the pregnant woman drinks, but because of alcohol triggering violent behaviour towards a pregnant woman: "more fetuses are lost due to male violence against pregnant women". And those statistics are proven. Alcohol consumption in some people leads to violence which poses a real risk to those near to them, including the unborn child. As for fetal alcohol syndrome - in spite of the very restrictive medical advice and women reducing their alcohol intake significantly, the incident of FAS has remained the same over the years. Which indicates that it's only those pregnant women who have an addiction to alcohol (and thus won't/can't stop) who actually harm their baby.

There is no advice given to fathers who have violent tendencies that they shouldn't drink while their partner is pregnant because this could lead to harm to the baby. Instead, it's the women who are restricted in their diet, medicine and alcohol intake to such degrees that it's laughable. All the while being made guilty for every drop of alcohol consumed, for every remedy taken. The pregnant woman has become the property of society in a misguided attempt to protect the unborn life, while society is happy to ignore the real dangers to the unborn and born child.

I'll be off to have a glass a wine then.

One in Four Women

Just yesterday I heard about a horrific incident of domestic abuse in a friend's family. It brought home to me how close domestic violence is to all of us, and reminded me of the blight it is to our society. Did you know that domestic violence accounts for more deaths of adult women than any other cause of death in the UK? Those deaths are not just avoidable, they are a shame for all of us, because really, nobody should allow this to happen.

Here are some more bare facts: one in three teenage girls expects to be abused at some point in their relationship. Incidentally, that's the same percentage of boys who think that they ma abuse a partner at some point in their lives. What's much much worse is that 1 in 4 women will actually be abused at some point in their lives. By their partner. In their home. Maybe even with kids around who witness this, think it's normal or acceptable behaviour and thus continue the vicious circle. Think about it: Picture four of your friends and imagine that one of them will have been abused. Or think about your own children. One in four will be abused as an adult, and they are growing up to expect to be abused by or to abuse their partner. Your little girl has a 25% risk to be the victim of domestic violence. Think about it. Now.

Domestic violence isn't talked about, it's ignored, and the victims often suffer alone because of the shame they think it brings upon them. Of course, the shame is on the abuser, yet those at the receiving end live in fear and often attempt to protect themselves, their kids and even their abuser.

There is no excuse for domestic violence. It's wrong and needs to end. And those who suffer from it need to be given the support they need to pick up the pieces and start a new, abuse free life, a life where they can live safely and without fear.

The national charity Women’s Aid has released their first charity single to celebrate 35 years of striving to end violence against women and children on 25^th November. The single is called “Take My Hand”, and it will help Women's Aid raise vital funds to support this work for abused women and children. It is sung by 13 year old classical singer Olivia Aaron, and Natasha Benjamin, who is herself a survivor of domestic violence.

The launch of Take My Hand marks the beginning of Women’s Aid’s activities to mark the ’16 days of Action’, where the charity will ask the public to help them take action against violence against women and children. For more information on the ‘16 Days of Action’, go to www.womensaid.org.uk. To buy Take My Hand for 79p, please go to www.womensaid.org.uk/takemyhand.