February in the garden

 February in our tiny back garden. The soil was still very cold so waiting was in order. My chicken manure order didn't arrive, so once again, I'm growing on nutrient free soil for the moment. Since our slightly failed attempt to do the Garden Bird Watch, Cubling is taken by birds and we made some bird food. The birds do their best to ignore it.

The washing line is still in weather's hand, but I can feel the spring sun and soon the washing will be outside again, giving the house a chance to dehumidify. I hope.

The shed got painted in winter. I love it. It makes such a difference to have a splash of colour and I'm sure we'll also paint the raised beds before long.

I tried to plant onion and garlic sets before the winter and it's rather amazing that they've sprouted, especially considering the cold and long winter we had. And the nutrient free soil I gave them.

Just this week, the plum tree that I was given for my birthday got planted in the front garden. There isn't enough soil in the back (the sunny side) to plant it - the back is really container gardening. The front doesn't have much sun but I picked the sunniest position there is and cross my fingers. When digging the hole for the tree I hit on soil which looked like this:

I'm pretty sure you could use it for some pottery. I remember that my parent's allotment had clay soil, how they cursed the digging of it because it was so hard and eventually led to giving it up altogether, but never have I seen something that looked and felt just like pottery clay. I hope that I prepared it sufficiently for the tree to be happy. So far, it's doing well in its new position. Two soft fruit stalks got planted in containers too, and my rocket, coriander and basil is doing well in the conservatory (aka play room), where the potatoes are being chitted too. I've rearranged the toys to clear surfaces for some seed propagation, and make the playroom look a bit tidier in the process too.

No chickens yet, and there's still a lot to be done that I'd meant to tackle in the winter and didn't get around to due to the harsh temperature and sick kids. It's all a work in progress though and that's the beauty of it.

One blanket and 100 million missing women

There are squares. Many squares. The colours of the rainbow, different textures, some knitted, some crocheted, some put together into blankets. There are people too, knitting, sewing together, sitting together, having a cup of tea or coffee, with a laptop on the blanket. The air is of urgency and comfort at the same time, there are lots of smiles, smiles that speak of excitement. Friendly faces that invite to be approached. Blankets laid out on sofas and chairs, on tables, a splash of colour in the dark space of Glasgow's Tramway Theatre.

It's coming together. A good few months ago, Garterstitch 100 started out on the phenomenal task to knit just one stitch for every woman missing in our world today. A staggering 100 million women who should be here with us aren't, due to gender inequalities. Women who didn't get born (sex selective abortion), women who didn't get good health care, women who died in childbirth, girls killed just because they were girls, women killed in war and at home.

To celebrate the centenary of International Women's Day on 8th March 2011, the initiative will present a massive blanket to which rather a lot of people contributed. We all knitted or crocheted 6'' squares, and if I remember correctly, a staggering 60,000 squares are needed if just one stitch represents the missing women of this world.

It's all coming together, and coming together is maybe the best description of what's happening. There were so many sit and knit a bit events, where people just got together to knit a square, sharing a space, a time, a task. And while people sat and knitted, they got to know one another. The atrocious fact of the missing women was countered by creativity and togetherness, by creating something with the skill of hands. Lots of hands.

The Tramway is already full of colour and yarn, quite a contrast to its usual steel, metal and brick. The deadline for submitting squares is fast approaching, Tuesday it will be, so if you wish to be part of it, don't tally.

 And after Tuesday, the gigantic blanket will be celebrated on International Women's Day with Loop, 100 events for 100 years. Be there.

On young love and marriage

"Mummy, when Snowflake is a wee bit older, I want to marry her. Can I marry her?"
"You can't marry your sister unfortunately."
"But I can pretend to be a man!"

Cubling to a dad at the outdoors playgroup she had met for the first time:

"Are you married?"
"No, I'm not"
"But you need to get married!"
"I don't think so, I don't believe in marriage."
"But you need to dance! It's fun and you can wear a beautiful dress!"

Building a green house

There I was, sitting with Snowflake strapped on, in the reception area of Cubling's nursery, with lots of plastic bottles, trying to battle them into submission, er, cut the bottom off them with a pair of child proof scissors. In the end, I stopped at about 50, partly because my thumb was starting to object, partly because Snowflake had woken up again and I didn't want to chance stabbing her now that she's a bit more active and keen to explore if she can climb out of the sling.

I felt a bit apprehensive, admittedly. Especially when another carer came in and asked if I was able to bring the wean to work. It took a minute to sink in that she thought I was staff, rather than the parent volunteer engaged in the task of cutting off bottle bottoms.

So what was this all about? Well, this nursery being quite high on all things eco,  has teamed up with Urban Roots to build a green house out of plastic bottles. Throughout the winter, the children collected bottles for this undertaking (somewhere between 500 and 1000). Now each of them needs its bottom cut off so they can be stacked with the help of bamboo sticks to form the greenhouse in the nursery's outdoor play area. The bottom bits are going to be used as plant pots.

I've got a feeling that I'm a tad more excited about it all than anyone else, I don't blame the staff for being daunted by the task ahead of them to cut all those plastic bottle bottom off, but if only 10 parents helped for an hour, it would be done. I have to admit, I'd probably enjoyed myself a bit more if it had been a bit of a communal parent volunteer thingme, just being sat there cutting away on my own wasn't particularly elating. The idea I had in mind when I volunteered to help was definitely about a joint effort, not the lonely loon parent slavouring away.

I hope that even if I'm currently failing to enthuse Cubling for gardening, maybe the nursery will be more successful, especially with a shiny new glass, er, plastic house.

Seeds seeds seeds

Ding dong, the gardening year has begun, and it started with a bang.
Some while ago I blogged about the Scottish Seed Saving Network and how much I learned about the politics behind seeds. In two hours, my view on seeds was totally and utterly changed. While before I got my seeds from any old garden centre without much thought, now I know the importance of local seeds for growing success (short term) and empowered gardening for the want of a better word (long term). Growing food is also about skills, and saving seeds as well as growing from seed is a skill set that makes the food grower self sufficient. Not in an airy fairy way, it's rather about empowering anyone to grow independent from the seeds imposed on you by large scale manufacturers, who can give you whatever they like (including seeds that won't be able to produce seeds, as they already do with lots of crops).

The philosophy of the seed saving network is to promote seed saving and to exchange them for free. It's utterly not about profit, but about giving good seeds to anyone who wants to grow vegetables.

And Saturday was this years seed exchange day. I'd been waiting for it for over 6 months, since I came to know about the network. It's based in East Kilbride, just a few miles out of Glasgow, which has the advantage of being a location within the same micro climate as Glasgow, so that seeds tested and growing well will also do well in Glasgow. If anything, the seeds will be hardier than needed as East Kilbride is a bit colder than Glasgow.

I was stunned by the variety of seeds. They came packaged in small bags, just the right size to avoid wasting the seedy gold. The quantities were impressive, as was the variety. I really struggled what to do, with my limited garden space I can't possibly plant all that was on offer, yet I'd like to try out quite a few new vegetables, and that made me take much more than needed. They won't go to waste though, between neighbours, family and friends who are also growing their own, they will find a home for this season I'm sure (if you live in Scotland, and would like some seeds, do get in touch, I'm more than happy to pass some one).

Cubling found the whole event rather exciting, and was more intrigued by beekeeping than seeds, and ever so slightly subverting the oil game of the Transition Scotland Support stall.

I never thought a year ago that I could be so excited about seeds. In fact, most of my veg were garden centre pregrown because I couldn't be bothered growing from seed. How this has changed - I'm so excited about my seed collection that I can't wait to get started. In my mind there is a lot of measuring out of space going on, trying to find little spaces for another seed tray here and there.

I'm confident that these seeds will work much better than those bought in shops, and that I'll be able to actually grow something all the way from seed to harvest.
Let the growing season begin.

Where I try to be more Zen about it all and fail

Just as a postscript to yesterday's post, no children were harmed. I got loud, and a tad short tempered, but nothing that couldn't be sorted out. It was more a feeling of frustration, and unhappiness how things were turning out. I'm getting better at controlling my frustrations and not shouting, but it's a hard lesson on me.

But Houston, we have a problem anyway.
Yes, part of the problem is sick kids - nothing to be done about that, it needs to be sat out. Just that Cubling was a lot better today and after taking the adapted Cesar Millan mantra/advice from Mwa to make sure there's exercise first to avoid tensions , we did that. Out and about in the woods, totally and utterly child led, our favourite yes-environment, going with the flow, being 100% with her, reflective listening and all the other tick boxes of model parenting. We had so much fun.

What was the reward? Within an hour of being home, a stomping, screaming, shouting, making herself almost sick pre-schooler, a very special performance which I'm sure was audible in the whole of our neighbourhood. Not that I care. Maybe I do a little bit. Why? Because I said that 1hr of TV was enough now and how about preparing dinner now (notice I framed the "no" in positive ways and didn't just say "no").

Jesus Mary and Joseph, where did I go wrong? We sailed, yes sailed, through the "terrible twos". They were cute and adorable twos. Now we have constant whining and whinging, refusal (to eat, to get dressed, to follow any type of simple request, to speak German), defiance, anger, and drama. Drama above all, everything is drama.
Any necessary control is by threats and rewards - the latter works sometimes, the former only if it's a serious threat, and I'm not comfortable using either. I mean, I'd rather not bribe my child into appropriate behaviour.

So here I am trailing parenting sites, trying to find a solution because above all, I do not want to have a relationship with my child which is disrespectful and a constant power contest. I lived through a relationship like that, didn't like it yet couldn't change it. I know how important it is to change this.
I'm even considering parenting courses, if it weren't for the fact that I know the content of them. I know the theory, I practice the theory. It ain't working right now.

This too shall pass, yes maybe, it's just a phase. A bloody long one though and grinding my nerves one too Maybe it's related to baby in house. Maybe she's picking it up from nursery. You see, she's a lovely, funny, if extremely energetic girl, she's not like that really. It's an act, and a flipping annoying one.

While baby has decided to also start whining constantly (which is not an act of course and I worry my head off what's up because she's not a cry baby at all, and if this is really just down to a mild viral infection). Can someone stop the noise please before my head explodes.

Suggestions on how to turn around the drama and making a mother daughter relationship fun again are very much invited (oh and I know the obvious stuff, and we don't do time out because it upsets her too much). After all I want to enjoy this year of maternity leave, the idea is to spend quality time with my kids and I honestly don't know what's up.

Frustration

This week had a sense of forboding. Mid term and in service days mean a full week without nursery or playgroup for Cubling, and this is the week where both kids take turn being unwell. There are sore ears, sore tummies, runny noses, raging temperatures, oh and that crackling cough that is more often than I like followed by a pause in breathing or a projectile resurgitation of milk. She throws up so often that sometimes I only notice after the milk has dried on the carpet.

I have so many things planned, but it's a struggle just to make it through the day. The frustration grinds when even the simplest task on my to do list doesn't get done, while others are so clearly out of the reach of the doable that I don't even attempt to tackle them. A baby needing carried while a preschooler needs entertained or cuddled. Two little ones moaning and whinging because they're not well. The frustration that nothing I try and do makes them feel any better.

I haven't knit in days. It matters, even if it seems a small thing. It speaks volumes about the lack of time for anything but the basics, the washing, cleaning, dressing, cooking, cuddling and trying to keep both kids in the best mood they've got at the moment (which is not a good mood), all on two hours of sleep. The worry that is Snowflake, because I've lost the ability to trust my instinct which was so wrong before.

And after the 100th time Cubling whinged about her earache today, after the 50th time she complained about the 10 minute walk home, after 2 years of her refusing to feed herself or finish dinner in less than an hour so that we could actually have some family game/play time before bed time, after two days of not being able to stop the relentless sounds of complaint out of Snowflake's mouth for more than 5 minutes, I lose the will to be the reasonable adult and surrender to the frustration of it all.

And hate myself for it.

Baking by colours: Orange or Pumpkin and Orange Cookies

I've had a rather cute little pumpkin sitting in my kitchen for a while now, and never quite know what to do with the oranges that come in our veg and fruit bag (I'm no fan of eating them, one of those childhood eeks though I do actually like them now. I know that doesn't make sense).

And because it's valentines day and it was raining and the outdoor playgroup was struck down by absences, I decided that I could bake an orange and pumpkin cake. Darn, not enough eggs. How about cookies then? Cubling rejoiced. Cookies it was.

So then, I give you pumpkin and orange cookies which are both tasty and healthy, containing at least one of your five a day. Honest.

All ingredients are approximate. I don't do scales when there's more than 3 ingredients.
3 cups of wholemeal flower
1/2 teaspoon of baking powder
1 egg
half a cup of ground almond
1 cup of brown caster sugar
1/2 cup of soft brown sugar
2 cups of grated pumpkin flesh
juice and peel of 1 orange
150 g of butter
some spices to taste: cinnemon, cloves and the like

Mix together well, place about one teaspoon of dough per cookie onto oiled baking tray and bake in preheated oven at 190 degrees for 14 minutes.

Enjoy.

5 months, 2 teeth, 25 miles and 4 1/2 hours

Has it been 5 months already? The date says it has. So it must be true. My little baby is 5 months old. On the eve of her 5 month's birthday (and I kept watching the clock thinking how few hours it was from the actual hour of her birth) she showed us what a determined little girl she is. Placid as she may be most of the time.

After a lovely day with newly wed friends in West Kilbride we embarked on our journey home. Darkness was setting, but Snowflake was well fed and with clean nappy, it was the right time for a nap. She had her favourite blanket, her favourite toy, an attentive sister who will try her best to entertain her.and we crossed our fingers that maybe, just maybe, we might get home without the usual wailing from the back.

How wrong we were. As soon as the engine was started, cheery Snowflake transformed into furious dragon. We made it to the next town (20 minutes), where we stopped and I fed her again. Repeat scenario - transfer to car seat, furious wailing. We drove on. It was late, it was getting to Cubling's bedtime and it was only another 35 minutes drive. You know the way if you know there's nothing much you can do and you just want to get through it? Well, that was us. Until about 10 minutes later, when Snowflake demonstrated her new found skill of hyperventilating to daddy (I'd been introduced already).

There's something about a hyperventilating baby which is really and truly worrying. But we had to get home and there was no where near to stop. So we drove on. Just minutes later, there was the unmistakable sound of resurgitation of the projectile kind (remember I'd fed her well before setting off and again just 20 minutes later? There was A LOT OF MILK in her tummy. It was now no longer in her tummy but nicely distributed across her clothes, car seat, blanket, toys and possibly more, just that it was too dark to see.). She was also choking on the puke, while still hyperventilating.
We stopped as soon as we could, cleaned her up as good as we could.

There we were, somewhere in Ayrshire/Renfrewshire, I don't know which, near Howwood, 17 miles away from home and we knew that this journey could not continue like this. I strapped Snowflake in the sling and walked to the nearest train station, mercifully only half a mile away. By the time we got there, of course we'd miss the hourly train by 5 minutes. Had we driven.... It was cold and I didn't have clothing warm enough for Snowflake to wait for an hour, so we decided to get some food in a local restaurant. That meant another 1 mile drive (argh!!!!).

Once there, we could relax, it was a beautiful country hotel, with open fire and friendly staff, not very busy, just perfect to get our nerves together and Snowflake promptly fell asleep. Of course only to wake up just in time to get into the car for our last leg home. Low and behold I'd also run out of nappies as this outing was getting markedly longer than intended, but at least I had a change of clothes for both kids so improvisation it was and a vest and trousers quickly were stuck into a wrap to make the new style cloth nappy.

Snowflake was all cheery and smiles. Until the car seat was put into the car. At which point mummy lost the will to live and daddy had to rescue her and wave his magic wand (swing the car seat) which instantly sent Snowflake off to the land of nod.

We got home 4 1/2 hours after we set off on our 25 mile journey, and Snowflake didn't wake up until after we'd put Cubling to bed and watched a DVD, sleeping happily in her car seat as if nothing had happened. 

In other Snowflake news, she's got two teeth, rolls over from front to back and back to front, has another bad cough and still wakes a lot at night, but is otherwise a very smiley little girl, extremely good natured (honest) and giggles hysterically when her sister jumps up and down. Her favourite toy is her right foot and she's unbelievably beautiful and cute. When she's not in the car.

One glorious day in February

This week's Nurture in Nature's outing took us on a day trip to Loch Lomond.
Sometimes it's mindboggling that I live in a place where it's possible to just go on a day trip, catch a train, and just an hour later, I'm in such a beautiful location. The stuff of dreams really, especially when I recall how special it was when I first made it to Loch Lomond, that place that I actually knew of through a song. Back then, it took a 3 day interrail trip to make it there, unfortunately the weather didn't play game and I could just about make out the Loch in the fog, but didn't see any of the hills. Still, it was an adventure and I was glad that I'd made the effort.

So now, I can just catch a train and enjoy the beauty whenever it takes my fancy. We don't do it often enough, the gems close to you are easily forgotten or taken for granted. Of course, it was a bit more effort than just a quick train hop - dragging one kid and carrying another plus a heavy rucksack to the train station, changing train stations in the centre of Glasgow and back.

In between though, it was a glorious day - blinding sunshine that had the faintest promise of warmth and summer, while Ben Lomond and even the lower hills were still covered in an icing of snow. After the plentiful rain of recent days, the water levels were high and perfect for getting your wellies wet. We were even able to have picnic on a table and bench submerged in water. The trees seemed to be growing out of and into the water, their reflection as clear as the real thing. There was immense delight at the discovery of snowdrops and a swan, the launch of a boat and the ducks looking for food.

A perfect day, and we couldn't have spent it any better really.
(I'm sure my back disagrees, but don't listen)
Quietly, I promised myself to come back sooner rather than later.

 

This post is part of Outdoor Challenge Monday, hosted at 5organgepotatoes.com - the challenge is to spend more time outdoors. In our case it tends to be outdoor Thursday, because that is our Nurture in Nature playgroup day. Nurture in Nature is a loosely organised outdoor playgroup that meets twice a week, usually for a morning and an afternoon; once a month it's a daytrip. It is based in the southside of Glasgow though open to anyone who values the importance of outdoor play and learning and wants to get muddy with the kids.