Here and there and everywhere

Maybe, just maybe, this was the first time I felt like a stranger in my own country. Not in a bad way, just that it felt like travelling into a world I no longer managed to manoeuvre with ease.

I loved:
- outdoor play areas,
- the Indian summer we had (it was proper warm, 18 degrees in the late evening and I totally packed the wrong clothes),
- Brötchen,
- people of all ages and abilities riding bikes,
- properly insulated houses,
- renewables everywhere
- Rewe our world sticker book (if you have doubles, please get in touch, Cubling would be happy to trade)

I was a teeny weeny bit irritated by:
- right before left traffic rules and how they really catch you out if you're used to the much simpler and more intuitive British system,
- jam etc in tiny plastic containers
- menus where ever single dish contains meat
- chips being served with large quantities of salt
- kids meals either non existent or served without veg

In Amsterdam, I fell in love with the baksfiets/boxbike. I mean, I like them anyway, but to see them in all shapes and sizes, wow wow wow. I had to be told that you simply cross bike lanes in Amsterdam because if you wait for the bike traffic to provide a gap for crossing, you may be there all day.

Cubling decided she wants to live in Germany now. Not because of the play areas, although she thought the raft pond where you could play on a raft was pretty awesome, but because of the kids' shopping trolleys. Snowflake took leaps and bounces in speaking (both languages), and loves Peppa Pig even more now that she's Peppa Wutz.

And although travelling by ferry makes the journey rather long, it also makes it into an adventure in itself, and on the plus side it's actually much less stressful than flying with kids.

We managed to meet up with more people than expected, and I'm pretty impressed that in spite of our rare visits to Germany there is something like budding friendships going on between my kids and the kids of my friends. So much so that penpals have found one another. Pretty cool, I say.

The best thing for me had to be how Cubling just made friends with kids on the playgrounds without a second thought. She was totally at ease and at home, switching between languages without even a thought. It was both her social ease that impressed me (I would never, ever have spoken to kids I didn't know like that) and her ability to blend in and make the best of everything on offer.

And when we got home, she want back to school and totally enjoyed seeing her Scottish friends again as well. Now I only have to get used to the cold again.

A perfect day for Kite Flying

A windy autumn day. A trip to the Ruhrpott to meet my wonderful friends and let our children get to know each other. A kite. A field between two rivers. A kite that may lift you up in the strong wind and whish above your head. A kite that crashes into a tree and has to be freed by a brave 10 year old supergirl. More tree climbing. Homebaked cake to finish off an a day full of adventure. 

Couldn't help but wonder if today will be one of those days that will be referred to as "I remember when I was a little girl, when we flew the kite in Schwerte..."

Bottom picture by Cubling.

Down to the river we go

 

Sometimes, the best thing to be done is to just do it, in spite of unwilling kids, and trust your instincts that they will love it. Feet were bared in no time, and feet and hands exploring the river while they watched as the big ships passed by in the early evening sunshine, behind the dyke and beside the willow trees.

Homework

I'm not a great fan of homework. At least not for my little big girl who after all is 16 months younger than I was when I started school. Plus I didn't have to be at school all day long, school was out at 1pm for us. Play is how young children learn and it is self directed/free play as well as some directed activities that she should be able to choose to explore the world on her own terms when school is out. Moreover, there is so much that children can learn that has nothing to do with maths and literacy which has to have a chance to get explored too.

 

So I often don't even ask if she has homework. Some evenings, she'll draw, some she'll watch TV (semi educational because we're a DVD only household, we don't actually have live TV - not by design but by chance and lack of enthusiasm to get a faulty aerial fixed. Also watching DVD is a great opportunity for some, if passive, German input), or play, some evenings I put on music and we'll all dance and sing. All of this while I try and also cook a meal. Sometimes I try to at least have a look at what she did during the day an repeat some of it with her, just briefly as a way of a reminder.

 

Tonight, she picked up her piggy bank. Or rather, her doggy bank. Without any prompting she decided to order the coins by type and then she went on to count them. With a tiny bit of help she managed to get through them all. I didn't pay much (obvious) attention (apart from offering the help when asked for and secretly eyeing what was going on), and she had to work quite hard in getting her little sister not to interfere with her plan.

 

Incidental learning taken place:

• Numeracy and recognising, matching and correctly labelling coins
• dexterity in building a pile of coins
• Counting to 94 (quite a feat for her)
• Social skills of persuading toddler to hand back coins and not to destroy the piles of coins or interfere with the grand plan

All of this in 10 minutes and without calling it homework, learning or even having it directed by an adult. Self-motivated, self-directed, meaningful and fun. I had no input in it other than keeping me (and Snowflake) out of it.

 

Would you have thought that there are 94 coins lying on that ugly carpet of ours?

 

One day

My days go a bit like this at the moment:

6.30am alarm clock. Try and snake my way out of the embrace of the toddler to get up and dressed without having same toddler velcro'ed to me. If this is successful, there's a good chance we get out of the house in time.
Get dressed. Prepare breakfast, pack school bag, nursery bag, make my own packed lunch.
6.45am. wake toddler, get her dressed and give her breakfast.
6.55am give toddler different breakfast
7.05am give up giving toddler breakfast as she refuses to eat, lift her out, carry her upstairs to wake up school girl.
7.15 school girl still in bed moaning.
7.20 pull school girl out of bed and dress her as there's no way she'll get dressed herself. Yes she is 5 1/2. She can dress herself.
7.30 brush school girl's hair. This takes longer than most things in the morning, only beaten by getting dressed, hence the mention.
7.40 shoes and jackets and bags ON and OUT.
7.50 toddler still not sitting in her car seat and still insisting "Snowflake selber, Mami go away!"
7.55 depart
8.00 drop of Cubling for breakfast club
8.08 leave school for nursery (after 5 minutes of "Snowflakes selber, Mami go away!" at the car)
8.25 drop off Snowflake at nursery.
8.35 depart nursery for work (I'm going to be 5 mins late. Always. I can't find those lost 5 minutes ever and if I seat Snowflake, there's a massive tantrum and fight which is no alternative and takes longer than waiting out her Car Seat Climb of Independence and Achievement)
8.50 arrive at work
relax. work, usually without a lunch break.
4.35pm depart for nursery
4.55 arrive at nursery, pick up Snowflake. Snowflake takes about 10 minutes to get into car seat while telling me "Snowflake selber, Mami go away!"
5.05 depart for childminder/after school club. Snowflake cries all the way unable to tell me what is actually wrong.
5.20 arrive at childminder/after school club to pick up Cubling. Cubling refuses to leave, hits me, frowns at me. Nice to see you too.
5.40 finally back in car after 10 mins of coaxing Cubling to leave school building and assault course and 10 mins of "Snowflake selber, Mami go away!" at the car.
5.45 arrive home, get all the bags into the house, accompanied by crying toddler who still doesn't know what's actually wrong, while trying to argue with school girl why she can't visit the neighbours yet again, trying not to coax her into the house with watching the box.
6pm finally all in the house, rush to start cooking but neither girls playing game, continued moaning, crying, tantrumming. Focus on not losing the plot. Breathe. Focus some more. Try playing with one or the other, or cuddling, because maybe this crying is all about reconnecting. Cubling doesn't want to play she wants to watch TV. Snowflake doesn't want to play she wants to cuddle.
6.15 Carry toddler while going upstairs to the freezer (yes, our freezer is indeed upstairs), carry her down, sit her on the work surface to prepare dinner. She wants down. She cries. She wants up. She cries. She wants carried. Can't cook safely with toddler velcroed to me. Offer her food scraps that I can find and let her nibble. Cubling begs for TV. I try to distract with drawing/homework or playing with her sister. If successful, they will play for 10 mins which gives cooking time. If not, it'll be beans on toast with egg.
6.45 dinner time. Snowflake won't eat. Cubling eats ever sooo sloooowwwlyyyy (unless it's beans on toast with egg). Offer Snowflake different dinner. No luck again. Give her toast (again). Let her sit on my lap because she threatens to do a skyjump out of her booster seat (again).
7pm hubby arrives. Breathe. Finish dinner as a family.
7.30 upstairs for bedtime (bathtime? you must be joking!)
Toddler goes willingly. School girl does everything in the world to delay getting changed. Sometimes I wonder if keeping her in her jammies all day may significantly reduce my stress levels.
8pm Stories - dad and Cubling / mummy and Snowflake who also gets milk.
8.30pm kids in bed. Tidy up kitchen, prepare things for next day, put on washing machine/dishwasher or empty the same.
9.30pm sit down, check emails and do online stuff like paying bills.
10pm have shower or knit or read a book or I simply can't manage to move my arse off the sofa kind of thing because I can't decide which anyway and i'm so unbelievably tired that I'm just gonna waste this precious hour. I used to blog, almost daily. How did I do that? I'd like to phone friends, go out, go for a run. Actually, no, I don't. I'd rather stay in and waste away on the sofa. Have I really just said that?
11 pm hang up washing
11.30 or later: go to bed.
half an hour after falling asleep: "Mami!!!!!" Snowflake stands in cot staring at me. Lift her into (my) bed. Nurse.
4am: "Mami!!!!" Nurse. Usually non stop until:
6.30am alarm clock.
And repeat.

I have no idea how people manage to bathe their kids every day.
I also have no idea how working parents manage a 7 pm bedtime. My kids would benefit from more sleep but if they're asleep by 8.30 pm we're doing well.
I have no clue how to finish the day with two happy kids. There's nothing that makes me feel more inept at parenting than failing to get smiles out of my girls in the evening, and to feel that they're happier at daycare/school than at home with me.
Any tips are welcome.

Her Precious

For about a year, she's been in love with 4 strings. Personally, I blame Janosch. I can't be sure though what initiated her infatuation. As any parent of a 4 year old would have thought, we were sure it was a fleeting idea. Just that it stayed, and grew stronger by the month. Her wish so important that for her, it was meant to be a Santa wish. When she finally got a chance to hold a violin and a bow, she touched it with a seriousness and serenity on her face that blew me away. She listened intently to the violinist explaining how to make it sing and then just did it. I'm still pretty much in awe as she got more music out of it than me.

So we entered the quaint and wonderous world of the Glasgow Violin Shop. Out came a girl with such excitement and pride that it made my heart jump. Her precious is kept hidden from little toddler hands and it is brought out with gentleness a few times a day. Her most prized possession is announced to everyone, carried around and she'll even pose for a photo with it (posing for a photo? Unheard of these days). Nobody is allowed to touch it because she is "the boss of the violin". As soon as she holds it in her hands, her face is pure seriousness.

Admittedly, I'm a little bit massively jealous.

Review: Polarn O. Pyret

A little while back, I was approached whether I'd like to review some samples from a Swedish childrens' fashion company which is now setting foot in the UK, Polarn O. Pyret. As ever with reviews, I had a good look first and liked what I saw on the website. My first impression was that here was some childrens' fashion wich was different and struck a chord with me.

When I received the samples, I was rather impressed. Cubling received a sturdy outdoor jacket which will make her snug and warm in the coldest of weathers. Now, admittedly, Cubling is not a fan of bulky jackets. But this one has the right colour (some form of pink but not the type of pink that makes me go eek) and it's fabricated in a way that it allows maximum movement while providing cover, protection and warmths. There's no doubt about it, it's the most cleverly made outdoor/winter jacket I've seen so far, while looking attractive too. I really wish there was more like this for girls, because girls are usually passed off with pretty but not exactly functional coats.

Snowflake received a beautiful Spotted Mushroom print tunic made from a print fabric that I wish I could buy for some weekend sewing. I think it may be some sort of Swedish fabric style because it reminded me of the kind of clothes that a Swedish mum and seamstress makes here in Glasgow. The actual product looks much better than the online image by the way!

If you look a bit closer at the range that PO. P brings to the UK, you will find that a lot of items are unisex, which is so refreshing. That doesn't mean you can't go all girly and all boyish, just that the range doesn't force you to stick your child into pink or blue. The clothes all look like they manage to combine style with functionality, being comfy to wear and allowing children to move as they like without being restricted by their clothing.

Polarn O. Pyret follow strict eco measures in the production process of their clothes, meaning no nasty chemicals are used, and the clothes are hard wearing and should last for years and can be passed on to be worn by a second or third child.

There is also an organic range to choose from. The range is for children from 0-12 years.

You can find Polarn O. Pyret on some High Streets (mostly in departments stores) or order online - and what's best is that delivery is free to mainland UK which means that the price you see online is the price you pay.

Drawing at bedtime

How can I insist on bedtime when she's doing this:

Well, I didn't. Because that would have been cruel in so many ways. Although I did ask her if she could leave the three further people she had planned for tomorrow (she agreed, phew).

It's the one thing that keeps her busy for hours. Drawing, drawing and drawing some more. I'm not ever allowed to look until it's done. Not an easy task, if you know that she comes out with the most incredible designs. By now, she's better at drawing than I ever was. It must be her daddy's genes. I totally think she's incredibly talented, which might be because I'm biassed or because I'm a dork when it comes to drawing. Or both.

Today, she painted shoe boxes and drew 3 full pictures with great detail. All of this on a day where we spent the whole afternoon out of the house, and where we spent a considerable time feeding hungry children, dancing wildly to music and dressing up both wooden girls, teddy bears real children (for a woodland creature themed event in the Children's Wood in the afternoon). Snowflake, ever keen to copy her sister, painted one shoe box and drew one picture, and the table, two outfits, her hand and the chair.

There's a lot of colour in our house.

PS Everything is called Rosie in our house. She wrote this herself hence the phonetic spelling (the s is really a flipped z). 

And onwards and upwards - Review

Well, what can I say. After feeling rather at the edge yesterday, today was a whole new day. Which makes me wonder if the tensions are created by factors outside of the home which just had to come out on this first day of a bank holiday weekend. Today, in contrast, emotions were much more in control and I found out a few things that indicate tensions at school - nothing major or surprising but it may have caused or contributed to yesterday's fraught day. Of course, if I say nothing major it's nothing major in my eyes, but it may be serious enough for Cubling. I may be getting on a bit but if there's something I vividly remember from my childhood, it's how I felt when time outs and the like were imposed by figures of authority.

So with a head a bit clearer I can finally catch up on a couple of review posts that have been waiting to be written. First up today is Vertbaudet, the online/mail order childrens clothes/maternity wear and children's nursery company.

I've always been a big fan of Vertbaudet's collection, which is why I am more than happy to take up the opportunity of a review. Vertbaudet offers beautiful and practical clothes ranges for baby and children, as well as maternity wear, nursery outfit and storage solutions. Previously I'd reviewed some of their children's/baby clothes so this time I opted for bed linen as we're soon facing the move into the big bed (or let's say, the plan is soon but a certain Missus seems to have different ideas).

What I like about Vertbaudet in general is that the designs are just that bit different from what you tend to get on the high street, and this applies to both clothing and nursery design. The range for bed linen is large so that there's bound to be something for anyone. My first choice had sold out so I settled for my second choice, which was just fine as there are so many nice bedlinen sets that identifying a first choice took me all evening. Basically, I like them all. So the chicken was replaced by a butterfly design because Snowflake is not just keen on zebras but also on Butterflies (in fact, it was one of her first words).

Once the parcel was delivered, big sister got rather excited and had a look too. Now I have to mention at this point that Cubling has very definite opinions and it's either a total thumbs up or a total thumbs down. To be honest, I hadn't picked the design with her in mind and didn't expect her to like it, as she's all into princesses, pink and gold. However, there was a pleasant surprise in that she too loved this design, so it's passed the Cubling test!

The duvet cover didn't disappoint and we are now at least set for the big bed day should it ever arrive. It's an interesting design actually in that it has a flap rather than button to close the cover, which I hadn't seen before. It makes changing bedlinen a bit quicker and is more durable as buttons tend to wear and disappear with time. So no qualms about the product, it was as beautiful as the picture promised and delivery was quick.

I have had a slight issue with out of stock items not coming up as out of stock on the website so I guess there's a bit of room for improvement, not that it has ever bothered me. In fact my own purchasing experience has shown that credit will be applied in such cases or money returned, if you don't mind the minor inconvenience. As to value for money Vertbaudet often has special offers on and if you subscribe to the newsletter by email, you'll always be able to grab a bargain even if full priced items are a bit above average. Also, Vertbaudet appears to have a constant sale on and some of the sale item are actually some of the loveliest products. The quality of clothing is good, and I like particularly like the organic range.

One thing to be slightly aware of is that Vertbaudet being a French company uses a slightly different sizing system and I've found that I had to add a size to ensure they fitted, i.e. if a garment is for size 5 years, I had to buy size 6 or even 7 years for my 5-year old (who is a tallish child but in UK sizes still within the size for her age). However, Vertbaudet has clear measuring guidelines so that you can ensure to get the correct size in your first order.

I can also recommend to check out some of the bedroom decoration items, the wall stickers are really made from the kingdom of cute.

Disclosure: I received goods from Vertbaudet for the purpose of this review.

Days like this

Sometimes I wonder if I was ever made for this life as a parent. After a day like today, when in spite of doing fun stuff (and giving up trying to work with both around at 10 am knowing this was not one of those days where any work would happen) all day long, it appears that I often can't manage to create an environment where both of them are happy at the same time. This was a day that should have been easy: the sun was out, we were in the park totally going at their pace and doing what they wanted to do. Just that the two wills won't coincide.

So I take turns between the two of them trying to calm, soothe, find out what's wrong, feed, water, try to play, get interrupted by other one screaming, distract, and repeat. Is it me? How come that apparently at nursery, Snowflake is ever calm and happy but at home, she throws one tantrum after another, and half of the time I'm in the dark as to what it's actually about? How come that after 2 years of playing together like the best of friends, they are now like two vicious cats with sibling rivalry unleashed?

 (look, they really love each other!)

If Cubling comes too close to me, say for a cuddle, or even dares sit on my lap, up comes her sister and pushes her off. And she can push now. I mean, she manages to push Cubling off good and proper and sometimes hurts her in the process. There's biting and scratching, slapping and kicking and the ever just under the surface waiting to explode tantrum with full backwards fling onto the floor.

Meanwhile with all the attention going to younger sibling, older sibling gets frustrated and as much as I empathise and try to keep the peace, she starts her whinging and whining show. Interspersed with random, made up singing, recitation of phonemes and generally loud noises. Sometimes it gets to a noise and madness level that I wonder if my child is truly bonkers, as this noise level of random sounds without meaning can't be normal. I don't see other children act like this. Maybe they do, I just don't see it.

Often, it gets to a stage where she is totally in her world, and nothing I say reaches her. Or the opposite is true, a neverending litany of moaning and whinging, noise and sabotage of anything I'm trying to do, while refusing to engage in any meaningful play with me (which I'm told helps to reconnect and get out of such mayhem. It doesn't for us. She never wants to play when she's in this state).

At the end of a day like today, I get the nagging feeling that I really would rather have spent the day in the office, and that, if asked, the girls would most likely rather have spent it at the childminder's. It's most definitely not a nice feeling. More than anything I keep asking myself what on earth I'm doing wrong.

I took pretty pictures though. They may have kept my sanity today. And oh dear, another 3 days of this to get through all by myself. Help.