Wacky

wack·y  (wk) also whack·y (hwk, wk)

adj. wack·i·er also whack·i·er, wack·i·est also whack·i·est Slang

1. Eccentric or irrational: a wacky person.

2. Crazy; silly: a wacky outfit.

There is this wonderful get together in the Southside of Glasgow that goes by the name of StitchUp. It's all about sewing and related stuff, upcycling, making and mending and sharing skills. It happens once a month and my big girl loves it. Recently, there's a weekly StitchUp specifically aimed at families which runs weekly after school. Normally, I wouldn't be able to make it, but luckily I've ended up with a lot of annual leave at the end of the year and have managed a few sneaky short days to take Cubling to her favourite sewing cafe.

The funniest thing is, she never ever actually does any of the projects on offer. And more often than not, I wondered why on earth she loves it so much when she doesn't actually engage with what's on offer in any conventional way.
If there's pin cushions, she makes random concoctions of fabric.
If there's sock monkeys, she decorates her fingers with a skirt and draws a smiley face on her fingertips.
If there's weaving/french knitting/pompoms she'll sew a button on a piece of elastic.

Above all, she loves the sewing machine. It's a bit of a version of what I guess a racing car or Scelectrics is for boys. Ahem, or some girls, those things were definitely on my favourite toys ever list. But I digress. She won't actually sew anything normal on the sewing machine, but quite likes to create lines and make shapes with them, or knot things together to create a fish on a fishing line.

Sometimes, I get impatient or feel like her refusal to engage with ideas put to her is a personal rejection. But more and more I've been learning to sit back, relax and appreciate her out of the box thinking, her true creativity that doesn't follow the norm or what people say she should be making. Her creativity is not one that works within boundaries, but one which is free of boundaries. Maybe it's the creativity of any child, where the world is full of potential and not yet boxed into right and wrong. Maybe she is a rebel in the making.

Today, while I was making a sock monkey as was expected from me, I secretly watched her focus on making the wackiest creations with fabric scraps, stuffing, bands and buttons. And I starte to envy her for the passion and determination in creating something totally her own, for going her own way regardless of any expectations around her. I no longer felt apologetic for my wacky girl, or out of sync with her actions, but felt a sense of admiration growing inside of me.

I was reminded of a poem, Markings by Seamus Heaney, where he likens child's play to the power of the imagination where boundaries are created and then allowed to be passed. The poem celebrates this  freedom of child's play, which is not directed towards a purpose but optional, and which is a metaphor for the creative freedom of the poet to challenge the world as it is perceived:

It was quick and constant, a game that never need
Be played out. Some limit had been passed, 
There was fleetness, furtherance, untiredness 
In time that was extra, unforeseen and free. 

And so I am challenged by my daughter to question my expectations on her and my own limitations of my mind formed by so many other expectations that were imposed on me. Through her I can see a glimpse of freedom and possibility that otherwise would have remained unknown.

Where you may find me these days...

As you can see, it's a bit quiet on this space at the moment. Fear not though, there's some blogging going on at my other place, Nature Kids Glasgow. When I first had the idea for Nature Kids, I was sure I could keep up regular blogging on both blogs. Since then, I've had to increase my working hours and recently I've been busy with many a project (photo books for instance, which took up a lot of evenings because I'm a bit perfectionistic when it comes to photo books, but there's also been a lot of knitting). It's not that I'm thinking of shutting this place down, far from it, just that part of what I used to blog about has now moved over to Nature Kids. So I'd like to invite all my Mummy do that! readers to also subscribe to Nature Kids. Currently, I'm doing a series of posts on innovative initiatives that connect children with nature in and around Glasgow, as well as a review of outdoor clothing and tips on what Santa may bring the child who loves to jump in puddles and climb trees. All of which would have been blogged about here before I had a second blog!

If you're in or near Glasgow (or even if you aren't), you might find it useful to sign up to the Nature Kids Glasgow facebook page because I share outdoor events nearby (as well as nature craft ideas and anything else that I come across - I've found that the facebook page is quite popular, a bit to my own surprise, maybe facebook pages are the way blogging is going, who knows, they are a bit more interactive that's for sure).

With all things children and nature moved over to Nature Kids, this space is reserved for EVERYTHING ELSE. Which, at the moment, isn't a lot and I'm clearly far from my previous every 2-3 days posting schedule, because we do rather a lot outdoors in the little time we've got!

Review: Snapfish

It was June when we went on a loooong train journey to the other end of the world the UK and spend a week in beautiful Devon. Or rather, I'm sure it was beautiful, just that for all the rain we didn't see much beyond the hedgerows. We went with the extended family, and the kids had an absolute whale of a time.

Having just taken part in two of the Capturing Childhood e-courses, I took a ton of photos, always with the intention of creating a photo book to remember this first holiday with the whole family, something to look back on and to remember the special moments and the fun had.

Ahem, and now it's November and Devon seems to be even further than a 7 hour train journey away.
It took a bit of a kick in the backside to get this photobook off the ground, or rather an invitation to try out Snapfish for a photo product. Not having used Snapfish before, I was game.

There are quite a few photobook designs to choose from starting from approximately £20. I opted for the customised A4 book, which is special enough without taking up a lot of space. After uploading my favourite photos, I managed to create the full book in just a couple of hours through the interface on the Snapfish website. The book is very customisable, from the background down to the different designs for arranging the photos on the page. Even within the page layout, photos can still be moved and the sizes changed, or even photos added.

The book will print as is displayed, and there was only one minor worry when a warning came up that some of the spaces for photos were vacant, when in fact there was a photo there which hadn't been locked - however the actual print was perfect, so the software appears to be erring on the side of caution.

The print quality was great and the kids love the book. It's already brought back so many memories and anecdotes. In fact, Cubling had a right old laugh remembering the adventures had and I'm sure the book will be picked up a lot. It just shows that for those special occasions, making your digital photos special with a photo book is definitely the right move. Let's face it, we don't often look at photos on the computer, but photo books are definitely getting picked up a lot in our home.
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Disclaimer: I received a photo product credits to try out a Snapfish photo product and review it.

St Martin's Day in Glasgow

So it's November again. That time of the year where things seem to be falling over one another. We had Halloween, St Martin's and Bonfire night in the space of a week and to be honest, I'm glad it's over. We did have fun though. Having just returned from our holiday for Halloween, the costume was an improvisation of a new dress that passed as a witch's dress and random items from the charity shop - quite an outfit actually. Snowflake was stuck into a pumpkin outfit, as you do with toddlers. Our pumpkins were carved but not very elaborately, though there was lots of pumpkin soup and pumpkin pie.

Our crafting energy went mainly into the making of St Martin's lanterns (and general Halloween crafts). Thankfully there are some crafty people in our German Playgroup who had posted images of lanterns in preparation of the big lantern making event and I fell in love with the Elmer lantern. Thankfully, the girls did too, although Elmer hasn't as such featured around here much. What they loved about this lantern was how it transformed a milk bottle into an elephant with no effort at all and how they both were able to make the lantern because it's really so very simple.

You'll need a milk bottle - the biggest ones, 6 pints, are the best because the shape is more like an elephant and the lantern will have a decent size. We didn't have one, so went for a 4 pint and a 2 litre bottle, and the 4 pint one was still quite elephantesque, while the 2 litre one, well, it just about passed the elephant test so to say.

You cut the bottle along the line in the middle, and the handle will suddenly become a trunk. Feel free to cut out legs if you like. Next, cut transparent paper into small squares, get some glue and get sticking. We used a broad brush which is toddler friendly, and Snowflake (2 years) did make most of her lantern herself. Cubling had no problems just getting on with it without any help. To finish off, add some googly eyes and elephant ears cut out from cardboard.

Ideally, put some wire through the top and hang on a light stick. We didn't have wire and used pipe cleaners. The lantern is light so it worked well.

We were lucky to have lots of lantern events in Glasgow this year though we only managed to make the German playgroup one. It's lovely to see so many lantern events popping up now, with one in Battlefield and one in the Children's Wood in the West end too, and I'm sure there's more.  Plenty of opportunities to let those lanterns shine!

Why bother having kids if you don't have time to look after them

There has been some media attention on the fact that in the UK job market, about 1 million women are missing. They are missing because work doesn't pay for them as second earners and they've made the decision of not returning to work after they've had children or leaving their jobs.

This isn't surprising as such. I've thought about it. Childcare is expensive and there's not a lot of support with the cost here in this country. For parents with two children in childcare, the second earner needs to be on an above average income to make work pay.

What really got me though is the invariable response when this topic is brought up. Summarised in one sentence: Why have kids if you then go out to work?

Of course, this phrase is said to the mother. Please contradict me if I'm wrong! Now I'm all for extended and paid maternity leave, I know about the importance of child-mother bonding, breastfeeding and responsive care by the primary care giver, who due to breastfeeding usually is the mother. So while I do believe that our roles are different at the early stages of parenting, determined by biological facts, I don't buy this statement because we do have maternity leave (even if partly unpaid) for a full year.

After that, we're mostly equal.

Until the same question is directed to fathers, something is at odds. Because you know, really, kids would love both parents to just be at home with them and play all day, but that doesn't bring food on the table, warmth in cold winters and electricity to your home.

So for the record, as a mum who'd love to spend more time with her kids at home, as I'm sure their daddy does too, this is why I have kids and still bother going out to work:

1. I have skills that are well used in my job and I'm making a difference. I'm a confident trainer, researcher, thinker, writer, project manager. I'm not a confident parent (though I'm working hard on it, being ambitious and all that). In fact, I actually think my kids benefit from a bit of childcare by people who know what they're doing.

2. I've been told all my life that this was an equal society and that both men and women have equal access to the workplace and will be renumerated equally, regardless of whether they have children or not. I've come to understand that in reality this is not the case, but I believe that what I've been brought up to believe is at least something we should aspire to.

3. I've never believed that my primary role was that of raising kids. In fact, for most of my life, I wasn't sure I actually wanted kids. I made a decision to raise kids but did not make a decision for this to be my end all and be all.

4. It's a bloody hard job juggling kids, home and work. Many days I think I can't do this anymore. But it's also a bloody hard job being a stay at home mum, and to be honest, I prefer the juggling situation. Not by much, but by enough to keep going.

5. Let's talk money. Kids are expensive. You need more money to offer a decent life for them, like a bigger home, a car to take them places, days out, and let's not even mention the doubled cost of a holiday as the little ones pay full price. Oh yeah, and there's clothes, toys, presents for them and above all their friends and the incessant fundraising forms from nursery and school. I think I may have even bought a poppy this year, my principles are crumbling.

6. Let's talk some more money. If I took a career break, this is my financial loss: pension contributions. Income while I'm out of work. And then, as I rejoin the strained job market, a 30-40%% cut of my salary because I'd have to start from the bottom again. This cut is for good, also impacting on my already tiny pension prospects. So even if for a few years, work doesn't pay, in the long run the loss of earnings would be so massive for me, that I'd probably work for nothing

7. The insecurity of the job market: would I be able to find another job?

8. I enjoy my job. Nobody wails, whines, screams, hits and kicks me or spills milk over my clothes at my job for 8 lovely hours. But seriously, I do like my job.

9. And just to say.... I'm not a career woman. I don't strive for a 50k plus income, promotion and managment roles. This is not about my career, just about being a worker. I also think that parents who stay at home do an invaluable and tough job, a job that I'm probably not too well cut out to do. I simply don't want to have to justify why I work when I have children just because I'm not a man.

So in the public view I shouldn't have had kids then in the first place. Let's give the dads a voice now too, shall we? Should daddies have had kids because he's out of the house 9 or more hours on a weekday? Can I invite working dads to justify why they're working instead of spending quality time with their kids?

Here and there and everywhere

Maybe, just maybe, this was the first time I felt like a stranger in my own country. Not in a bad way, just that it felt like travelling into a world I no longer managed to manoeuvre with ease.

I loved:
- outdoor play areas,
- the Indian summer we had (it was proper warm, 18 degrees in the late evening and I totally packed the wrong clothes),
- Brötchen,
- people of all ages and abilities riding bikes,
- properly insulated houses,
- renewables everywhere
- Rewe our world sticker book (if you have doubles, please get in touch, Cubling would be happy to trade)

I was a teeny weeny bit irritated by:
- right before left traffic rules and how they really catch you out if you're used to the much simpler and more intuitive British system,
- jam etc in tiny plastic containers
- menus where ever single dish contains meat
- chips being served with large quantities of salt
- kids meals either non existent or served without veg

In Amsterdam, I fell in love with the baksfiets/boxbike. I mean, I like them anyway, but to see them in all shapes and sizes, wow wow wow. I had to be told that you simply cross bike lanes in Amsterdam because if you wait for the bike traffic to provide a gap for crossing, you may be there all day.

Cubling decided she wants to live in Germany now. Not because of the play areas, although she thought the raft pond where you could play on a raft was pretty awesome, but because of the kids' shopping trolleys. Snowflake took leaps and bounces in speaking (both languages), and loves Peppa Pig even more now that she's Peppa Wutz.

And although travelling by ferry makes the journey rather long, it also makes it into an adventure in itself, and on the plus side it's actually much less stressful than flying with kids.

We managed to meet up with more people than expected, and I'm pretty impressed that in spite of our rare visits to Germany there is something like budding friendships going on between my kids and the kids of my friends. So much so that penpals have found one another. Pretty cool, I say.

The best thing for me had to be how Cubling just made friends with kids on the playgrounds without a second thought. She was totally at ease and at home, switching between languages without even a thought. It was both her social ease that impressed me (I would never, ever have spoken to kids I didn't know like that) and her ability to blend in and make the best of everything on offer.

And when we got home, she want back to school and totally enjoyed seeing her Scottish friends again as well. Now I only have to get used to the cold again.

A perfect day for Kite Flying

A windy autumn day. A trip to the Ruhrpott to meet my wonderful friends and let our children get to know each other. A kite. A field between two rivers. A kite that may lift you up in the strong wind and whish above your head. A kite that crashes into a tree and has to be freed by a brave 10 year old supergirl. More tree climbing. Homebaked cake to finish off an a day full of adventure. 

Couldn't help but wonder if today will be one of those days that will be referred to as "I remember when I was a little girl, when we flew the kite in Schwerte..."

Bottom picture by Cubling.

Down to the river we go

 

Sometimes, the best thing to be done is to just do it, in spite of unwilling kids, and trust your instincts that they will love it. Feet were bared in no time, and feet and hands exploring the river while they watched as the big ships passed by in the early evening sunshine, behind the dyke and beside the willow trees.

Homework

I'm not a great fan of homework. At least not for my little big girl who after all is 16 months younger than I was when I started school. Plus I didn't have to be at school all day long, school was out at 1pm for us. Play is how young children learn and it is self directed/free play as well as some directed activities that she should be able to choose to explore the world on her own terms when school is out. Moreover, there is so much that children can learn that has nothing to do with maths and literacy which has to have a chance to get explored too.

 

So I often don't even ask if she has homework. Some evenings, she'll draw, some she'll watch TV (semi educational because we're a DVD only household, we don't actually have live TV - not by design but by chance and lack of enthusiasm to get a faulty aerial fixed. Also watching DVD is a great opportunity for some, if passive, German input), or play, some evenings I put on music and we'll all dance and sing. All of this while I try and also cook a meal. Sometimes I try to at least have a look at what she did during the day an repeat some of it with her, just briefly as a way of a reminder.

 

Tonight, she picked up her piggy bank. Or rather, her doggy bank. Without any prompting she decided to order the coins by type and then she went on to count them. With a tiny bit of help she managed to get through them all. I didn't pay much (obvious) attention (apart from offering the help when asked for and secretly eyeing what was going on), and she had to work quite hard in getting her little sister not to interfere with her plan.

 

Incidental learning taken place:

• Numeracy and recognising, matching and correctly labelling coins
• dexterity in building a pile of coins
• Counting to 94 (quite a feat for her)
• Social skills of persuading toddler to hand back coins and not to destroy the piles of coins or interfere with the grand plan

All of this in 10 minutes and without calling it homework, learning or even having it directed by an adult. Self-motivated, self-directed, meaningful and fun. I had no input in it other than keeping me (and Snowflake) out of it.

 

Would you have thought that there are 94 coins lying on that ugly carpet of ours?

 

One day

My days go a bit like this at the moment:

6.30am alarm clock. Try and snake my way out of the embrace of the toddler to get up and dressed without having same toddler velcro'ed to me. If this is successful, there's a good chance we get out of the house in time.
Get dressed. Prepare breakfast, pack school bag, nursery bag, make my own packed lunch.
6.45am. wake toddler, get her dressed and give her breakfast.
6.55am give toddler different breakfast
7.05am give up giving toddler breakfast as she refuses to eat, lift her out, carry her upstairs to wake up school girl.
7.15 school girl still in bed moaning.
7.20 pull school girl out of bed and dress her as there's no way she'll get dressed herself. Yes she is 5 1/2. She can dress herself.
7.30 brush school girl's hair. This takes longer than most things in the morning, only beaten by getting dressed, hence the mention.
7.40 shoes and jackets and bags ON and OUT.
7.50 toddler still not sitting in her car seat and still insisting "Snowflake selber, Mami go away!"
7.55 depart
8.00 drop of Cubling for breakfast club
8.08 leave school for nursery (after 5 minutes of "Snowflakes selber, Mami go away!" at the car)
8.25 drop off Snowflake at nursery.
8.35 depart nursery for work (I'm going to be 5 mins late. Always. I can't find those lost 5 minutes ever and if I seat Snowflake, there's a massive tantrum and fight which is no alternative and takes longer than waiting out her Car Seat Climb of Independence and Achievement)
8.50 arrive at work
relax. work, usually without a lunch break.
4.35pm depart for nursery
4.55 arrive at nursery, pick up Snowflake. Snowflake takes about 10 minutes to get into car seat while telling me "Snowflake selber, Mami go away!"
5.05 depart for childminder/after school club. Snowflake cries all the way unable to tell me what is actually wrong.
5.20 arrive at childminder/after school club to pick up Cubling. Cubling refuses to leave, hits me, frowns at me. Nice to see you too.
5.40 finally back in car after 10 mins of coaxing Cubling to leave school building and assault course and 10 mins of "Snowflake selber, Mami go away!" at the car.
5.45 arrive home, get all the bags into the house, accompanied by crying toddler who still doesn't know what's actually wrong, while trying to argue with school girl why she can't visit the neighbours yet again, trying not to coax her into the house with watching the box.
6pm finally all in the house, rush to start cooking but neither girls playing game, continued moaning, crying, tantrumming. Focus on not losing the plot. Breathe. Focus some more. Try playing with one or the other, or cuddling, because maybe this crying is all about reconnecting. Cubling doesn't want to play she wants to watch TV. Snowflake doesn't want to play she wants to cuddle.
6.15 Carry toddler while going upstairs to the freezer (yes, our freezer is indeed upstairs), carry her down, sit her on the work surface to prepare dinner. She wants down. She cries. She wants up. She cries. She wants carried. Can't cook safely with toddler velcroed to me. Offer her food scraps that I can find and let her nibble. Cubling begs for TV. I try to distract with drawing/homework or playing with her sister. If successful, they will play for 10 mins which gives cooking time. If not, it'll be beans on toast with egg.
6.45 dinner time. Snowflake won't eat. Cubling eats ever sooo sloooowwwlyyyy (unless it's beans on toast with egg). Offer Snowflake different dinner. No luck again. Give her toast (again). Let her sit on my lap because she threatens to do a skyjump out of her booster seat (again).
7pm hubby arrives. Breathe. Finish dinner as a family.
7.30 upstairs for bedtime (bathtime? you must be joking!)
Toddler goes willingly. School girl does everything in the world to delay getting changed. Sometimes I wonder if keeping her in her jammies all day may significantly reduce my stress levels.
8pm Stories - dad and Cubling / mummy and Snowflake who also gets milk.
8.30pm kids in bed. Tidy up kitchen, prepare things for next day, put on washing machine/dishwasher or empty the same.
9.30pm sit down, check emails and do online stuff like paying bills.
10pm have shower or knit or read a book or I simply can't manage to move my arse off the sofa kind of thing because I can't decide which anyway and i'm so unbelievably tired that I'm just gonna waste this precious hour. I used to blog, almost daily. How did I do that? I'd like to phone friends, go out, go for a run. Actually, no, I don't. I'd rather stay in and waste away on the sofa. Have I really just said that?
11 pm hang up washing
11.30 or later: go to bed.
half an hour after falling asleep: "Mami!!!!!" Snowflake stands in cot staring at me. Lift her into (my) bed. Nurse.
4am: "Mami!!!!" Nurse. Usually non stop until:
6.30am alarm clock.
And repeat.

I have no idea how people manage to bathe their kids every day.
I also have no idea how working parents manage a 7 pm bedtime. My kids would benefit from more sleep but if they're asleep by 8.30 pm we're doing well.
I have no clue how to finish the day with two happy kids. There's nothing that makes me feel more inept at parenting than failing to get smiles out of my girls in the evening, and to feel that they're happier at daycare/school than at home with me.
Any tips are welcome.