Review: BedTed and Love One Give One

:::Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post, however all views expressed are mine.:::

With Snowflake deciding that today was the day to start crawling, we're truly out of the newborn baby stage, even if it only seems minutes ago that she was born. When I was contacted by BedTed to let my readers know about their products and their Love One Give One campaign and had a look at their stock, I was quite taken by their classic designs and practical nursery bedding range. I wished I'd known about them before Snowflake was born because if there was one thing we were short of initially, it was nursery bedding. Strange, I know, considering it was our second!

As far as the product range goes, BedTed has all that you can ask for in the world of nursery bedding. There's your cellular blankets, fitted sheets of different descriptions, and a beautiful themed baby bedding sets range; all made to above industry average standards, giving all their bedding a luxurious feel as the website explains.

What's best though is that for every blanket sold, BedTed gives one to a charity who will pass the blankets on to children going without, to give them some comfort in difficult times. The campaign goes by the name of Love One Give One - and it's a lovely gesture to give a bit of comfort to a child who has little comforts to his or her own. In practice it works like this: once you receive the blanket you've bought at BedTed, you will be given a code which you then enter on the BedTed website to send off the blanket to currently one of two charities. You can also suggest a receiving charity - so if you know of a charity who could make good use of baby blankets, why not let BedTed know.

What do you miss now that you have children?

A quick question. A question that got me thinking and re-assess the watershed that becoming a mother is. The question in question was "what to you miss now that you have children." Talk about opening a can of worms. However, as much as I knew that there are things I miss, I also instantly thought that it's not all loss, that four years on and looking back, it's been a process of adjustment.

Yes, my life is very different to what it was. I used to go out every weekend, love to party, go to lots of gigs and I was some sort of exercise junkie - hop classes (aerobics), running and hillwalking took up rather a lot of my time. Now, I'm sedentary mostly, if I have a large glass of wine it's a lot and I feel tipsy and exercise... Oh I know I should do more.

The loss was felt when I first became a mum because it was such a radical and sudden change. It was not when it happened again, although there was a certain degree of readjustment from one to two. As someone put it, you "grieve" for the lifestyle lost first time around, when the change is so massive, but with the second child, it's not so bad really.

So, the answer varies. Back then, 4 years ago, I missed a lot. Hot tea, a good night's sleep (or any sleep longer than 2 hours), being able to socialise, go to gigs, to the cinema, for a drink, getting drunk, being able to go to the loo by myself, being able to leave a room without a baby starting to scream, being in control of what I do when. My plot, which I had to give up because Cubling would not let me do even 5 minutes worth of gardening without demanding my attention. I craved my return to work when she was only 5 months because I felt "normal" again. It was a control thing, being in control of what you do and being able to see things through from start to finish, being productive and able to look back on the day knowing that you've actually done something.

Now, 4 years later, I don't miss any of these things. I'm ok spending evenings at home and have filled them with knitting, blogging and watching DVDs. The only two things that I still miss is being in control of what I do, and me time. I'd love to be able to plan my day and just do it. Say, to clean this or tidy that, have the 2 hours it takes and be done. With two kids? No chance. The other thing I miss is being able to go to courses / workshops that interest me. Baby Snowflake still isn't very settled in the evening and needs me to settle, so any event scheduled in the evening is off limits, as are full day workshops in permaculture, upcycling and Cybermummy.

Of course, second time mum also knows that this is temporary, that in two year's time, there will be time and more control. All in all, it's easier with two than it was with one because they love each other and are already each other's best playmates. It's easier to do many chores with two than it was with one (admittedly high need) baby.

I do miss time just for myself. But not enough to demand it. Time spent with the whole family is still always more desireable than doing something just by myself.

And I surprised myself, answering the question, how far the process of adjustment has taken me. How rejection of my "plight" has been replaced by finding pleasures in the small print of my life. The DVD rental that has replaced trips to the cinema, the newfound love of the radio that has replaced my love for listening to music, the ability to be happy with the tiniest gardening successes rather than being overwhelmed by ambition to do more than can be fitted in.

Of course there are also the moments when I'm close to losing it when it proves impossible to get everyone out of the house before 11am, when I feel that I didn't do anything in a whole day, when I feel frustrated that I don't have the time to follow up on interests and ambitions. When every day seems forever filled with laundry, making food and endlessly trying to keep on top of things that I mostly don't enjoy doing.

I wonder if becoming a mother later in life makes it harder because it's more difficult to adjust, or if you accept more easily that you've travelled, explored, had fun for so many years that now you can give back. Nothing prepares you for motherhood, but whatever it brings, we are able to adjust and rearrange our lives.

What do you miss most since becoming a parent?

The Launch

Today was quite a special day. It was my first home party for Barefoot Books, the launch party as an Ambassador (which I guess is a fancy word for being a salesperson). It was supported by Moira Lumby, who is an experienced Scottish Ambassador which made everything rather easy. Slowly but surely the way it all works is starting to make sense, and emerging questions have been answered so that from now on I feel that I know roughly what I'm doing.

We spent the last week reading a lot of stories from the books, for me to get a bit more familiar with the vast stock, much to the delight of Cubling, who would read stories all day long if that was an option.

I'd invited both some friends and local parents because I'm quite keen to connect with people very local to me and this seemed like a welcome opportunity. It wasn't about selling, just about having an opportunity to get to know other parents of young children living in the neighbourhood, because after years of living in anonymous communities, I personally would like to know my neighbours. Interestingly though, nobody came whom I didn't know already - so maybe this invitation of strangers was a tad out of people's comfort zone. Of course it may have other reasons, people may have been at work/on holiday/enjoying the fabulous sunshine we had after a month of daily rain.

So it was a comfortable small party, where almost everyone knew everybody else.

What I like about this new little venture is that it's as small or as big as you want to make it. It's going to be a hobby, an opportunity to raise funds for some groups or charities I'd like to support, a way to connect to new people or a different way to connect to existing people. I'm not a good salesperson in general - not one who likes to ask people to buy or even donate, but the thing is that I really love these books and it's just about sharing the love, without any ambition for quantity of sales or anything like that. It's something I feel comfortable with.

Oh, and did I mention how great it is to test the books with my girls? It's like having your own library. We already have our favourites, and I look forward to the many hours of booksharing that this little venture will bring to our house.

If you would like to order Barefoot Books through me, you can do so through my Marketplace, you can also keep in touch and receive special offers by liking my facebook page or signing up to my Barefoot Newsletter (simply send an email to barefoot @ cartside.co.uk; leaving out the spaces in the address).

All Rejoice and Celebrate Bilingualism! The May Carnival is here

Today I'm delighted to host the May Carnival of all things bilingual in the blogosphere. It warms my heart to see the community of bilingual bloggers growing and more and more bloggers joining in and exchanging their first hand experiences of bilingual (or multilingual) living. Nothing beats following the developing bilingual minds in so many different language settings, and to get a few tips here and there on what works and what doesn't, and how to make this long and exciting journey a successful, and above all, fun one.

So, without much further ado, here is this month's carnival menu:

Starter:
There are sunny Arabic spells in the house of Babelkid, with much rejoicing at the breakfast table after a house move.

Quite au contrario to Babelkid's all Arabic surprise, Multilingual Mama asks the question Do you Franglais? when she considers what code switching means to her. Franglais , Spanglish or Denglish - it's all rather complicated when, how and why we mix languages and what it all means.


Mains: Words and Numbers
Fiona of Living in the Land of Chocolate has to give her children the run down of bad words when they come home from Kindergarten having read a certain inappropriate English swear word. In Switzerland!

18 months old Aleksander is starting out with his very first words in the trilingual home of German in the Afternoon - but he's not one to do a song and dance when pushed!

Spanglish Baby looks at the 5 biggest obstacles when raising bilingual children. They are based on a facebook question and responses by parents and I'm sure there's nobody who can't relate to at least one of these barriers and benefit from this post's tips how to overcome them.


Busy as a Bee in Paris shares 4 guidelines for immersing your child in a new language - a great checklist to see if you're doing it right or if there is some room for improvement.

On my own blog, I compiled 10 random reasons for embarking on a bilingual journey; for the benefit of the undecided, the wavering, and the unsure. Of course there are many more and you can still add your own favourites!

Dessert: A bit of past, present and future


Intrepidly Bilingual tells the story of how they became an OPOL family. Or an almost OPOL family who then decided to become a slightly stricter OPOL family thanks to the trials and tribulations of the one parent one language method. It's a story that I'm sure many can relate to - as for us, we've so been there!

Crankymonkeys in London finds that she's still no diamond when she ponders what living with her Estonian mother means to her, though it does heaps for her children's Estonian!

For now, there won't be any French classes at the maison, as Bringing up Baby Bilingual concludes. Being 7 months pregnant is not quite conducive to a big push for setting up immersion classes for other little French speakers in your neighbourhood! But there's always another time, a better time to make a great idea happen.

And with coffee: some philosophical thoughts and how to introduce a different culture to any child

Alexandra's guest post on Bilingue per Gioco on Homelessness of a Third Culture Kid gives an insight into what it is like to grow up between cultures and languages, what it means to the child and how we, as parents, can better empathise and support our children.

Chasing my Rainbow Baby has become an anthropologist in her own home and is all ready for some field work.

Mamapoekie of Authentic Parenting gives great ideas on how to introduce African culture to children in Children's Guide to African Culture. Bilingual or not, children are keen to learn about other cultures, and even if you can't raise your children bilingually, Mamapoekies has great tips how to familiarise children with another, in her case, African culture.

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If you are interested in keeping in touch with all things bilingual, head over to the Bilingual Blogging Carnival Page where you can sign up for the newsletter, read all the bilingual carnivals to date, find details on how to submit your post to the next host or offer to host the carnival in the future. I hope you enjoyed this month's carnival and see you at Bilingual Russian next month!

Going Barefoot or a Little Dream Come True

There is great excitement in my life. A dream come true, in a way. The reason this blog has been a bit quite over the past 2 weeks. My 4 year old will tell everyone who'll listen (and she'll make you listen) that mummy has a bookshop now. At home.

It's true. It's no secret I love books, and who doesn't have this little dream of their own business? Well, mine involved books. It wasn't "just" a dream - I always had my favourite independent bookshops where I bought books, and spend rather a lot of time thinking up where the perfect location for "my" bookshop and cafe would be (until it was taken over by a cafe...). I even worked in a bookshop for minimum wage just to see if it was for me (it wasn't, the bookshop had no control over stock or any freedom to make it other than a university book service; it was rather soulless). Then, out of the blue, only a few weeks ago, I stopped at the Barefoot Books stall at the Scottish Baby and Toddler Show. They are the people behind many a favourite baby and children's book and a five minute visit meant I came home with a bag full of new exciting books. A week later, and I'd signed up as an Ambassador - which means that I sell Barefoot Books.


I'm still in the starting blocks, the great thing is that there is no pressure to sell large quantities and it's really just going to be a hobby. There are decisions to be made whether to use my domain name for the online shop, or this blog, or a page on this blog.


Today, my stock arrived.
On Friday, my launch home party is happening.
We've been reading Barefoot Books all week, to test them, get to know them and love them.
I'm as excited as a child really, because, really, what could be better than selling the books you love?

10 Random Reasons for Bringing up your Children Bilingually

Maybe this is like bringing coals to Newcastle (or owls to Athens as the German version of this proverb goes) because thankfully, most educators these days are aware of the asset that growing up with more than one languages is. It's a great shift - I still remember how they trained my off standard pronunciation out of me and not being able to understand my granny because my parents did not speak dialect with me.

So for anyone considering bilingualism for their children, or anyone needing a bit of a boost to keep up the good work, here are random reasons for raising bilingual children. They are random because I'm sure there are more, and do please add them in the comments!

1. Your child will learn a second language without any of the hard work. Learning languages takes consistent and hard effort. Even if you're fluent once, you can lose it if you don't use the language. Children have the unique opportunity to pick a second or third language up without noticing the effort.

2. Your child will be able to learn further languages with greater ease.

3. Your child will find out and experience that there are different cultures and that this brings richness to their, and everybody's, life. Your child will thus also have a greater understanding and empathy for other cultures (or end up babbling away in made up Lithuanian just because that's where E. comes from and this is how she speaks - which can be a pain in the backside though I'm sure it will pass)

4. Your partner will pick up some more of your language without any effort

5. You will have an incentive not to forget your roots, and your language. In fact, it'll help you stay fluent in your mother tongue. (This statement will only sound odd to people who've not experienced forgetting their own language. It happens, it's sad, but it's the way it goes)

6. You will be able to share memories and create memories with your children which you would otherwise not have done. Kind of reliving your own childhood, but also enriching your own memories that may have faded a bit.

7. You will find a second community of parents which can give so much - support, fun, help you celebrate your culture, new friends, and realisation of how even parenting styles differ across countries!  (or realise how un-German your selection of plastic toys really is and wonder why homeopathy is so much less available in the UK)

8. Your child will have natural opportunities to learn more than they would normally: Geography, travel, languages, festivals, maps, flags, words, you name it - there are two worlds to explore, how exciting for a curious mind!

9. You will keep in touch with your own background more which is really enriching. You'll find out about radio stations, books and audio books that you would otherwise not have, you will make sure to keep family and friends connection alive. You'll learn about your culture as your children ask you questions (what is Schuetzenfest? Why do they look like hunters?)

10. You will be able to pick and choose the best from two sets of media. We love Janoschs Traumstunde to bits, and Maus and Elefant prominent features in our home as is The Lion King. Never a daft TV programme again - if you have two cultures to choose the best of children's TV, books, and more from, you'll be spoilt for choice!

And all of that without mentioning that it might be useful in working life too...

The tree swing

The weather is raging outside. As I sit and watch the storm damage accumulating, last week seems like an eternity away. Not that the weather was kind, but at least the trees were a welcome shelter rather than weapons.

Usually, May brings sunshine, warmth. It tends to be the best month. Instead, we had rain, cold temperatures and now a storm that puts fear not just into my four year old. She insists that the twigs and branches can't possibly have been blown down by the wind, it has to be a woodcutter, because otherwise it would be winter soon. And just a few days ago, the trees were a well of colour, light and easy swinging at the riverside.

Our outdoor adventures teach me a lot. How on a day that I have to drag myself out, Cubling is more than keen. Ask her if she'd like to go to the woods or stay home warm and dry, and the answer is without fault the woods. She looks forward to meeting her friends, she drags me out, even on days that start with porridge spilled across the whole room. Once we managed to get out of the house, all geared up and with lunch packed, after the stress of getting everything together and getting there, the reward is great. The calmness, the peace, and the ease of a child who in other environments gets overstimulated so easily. She also loves to be there with me, and it saddens me that soon, she will go there without me again.

It's my favourite day of the week. Not often do I manage to bring my camera as well as two children, rain gear and lots of food. And it's not easy trying to capture the colour, light and beauty we see on camera if an increasingly active baby is trying to help me take that picture. If I do bring the camera though, it's these pictures that I often go back to during the week to follow, to remind me of the best day of the week, the one where we are all happy at the same time. The big easy. The photos reflections of our memories.

This post is part of Outdoor Challenge Monday.

Call for submissions: May Bilingual Carnival

This month's bilingual carnival will be host on Mummy do That! If you blog about raising your children bilingually or any other aspect of bilingualism and have a recent post you would like to submit to the carnival, please post the link to your post to blog @ cartside dot co dot uk preferably by 25th May 2011. It will go live as soon as possible after the submission date. It would be great if you could pass on/promote this call for submissions amongst bilingual bloggers. I apologise for the short notice, and hope that this doesn't keep anyone from contributing!

It's great to see the carnival go from strength to strength and becoming a resource for parents at all stages of their bilingual parenting experience. It's great for connecting blogs across the globe, and for me it's offered a lot of support and reassurance especially in those moments where I questioned if it was all worth it (it is, it is). It's a great opportunity to make new connections and renew the enthusiasm for bilingualism.

If you would like to find out more about the carnival, read previous carnivals or sign up to the mailing list to be kept in the loop, head over to Bilingual for Fun where the carnival page is hosted. Any questions? Just ask in the comments section! I look forward to reading your submissions.

This is not a Guilt trip

When the most recent research findings about another outcome difference between breastfeeding versus formula feeding hit the headlines, the reaction was once again predictable. There were those who rejoiced in yet another reason why breastfeeding is good for your baba and those who complained how it guilt tripped parents who didn't/couldn't breastfeed or how breastfeeding is once aspect of parenting and surely so many other parenting choices will have an impact on child behaviour.

There was even voices that pointed out how useless the research was, how it was a waste of money because it wouldn't make a penny of a difference to mums in their choice whether or not to breastfeed.

Now, unlike others who seem to have made up their mind that this piece of research was a waste of money, I believe that as with all research, only time can tell if it was or wasn't good value for money - but hey, that's what research is about! If you questioned every research project in relation to value for money and usefulness, there is a real potential that no research, no progress, would ever happen. It's bad enough that a lot of research has to be funded privately and thus often by people with dubious agendas - but the bottom line is that we need a variety of research to learn, to further ourselves, to progress.

So why is research on impact of infant feeding criticised and always ends up opening a can of worms? Why is there a problem with presenting facts? And, above all, why does anyone feel guilt tripped by the reporting of facts?

It's all about that elusive mad woman in the attic. Guilt. Mother's guilt more precisely because when did a dad last feel guilty about working full time, or his child not being breastfed?

Why do people feel guilty in the first place? Personally, I feel guilty when I've done something knowingly that I shouldn't have done while I had the option of doing something different, i.e. when I chose to do the wrong thing against my conscience.

Now, let's look at the choice between breastfeeding and formula feeding: as far as I can tell, there is a limited number of scenarios and where guilt does or doesn't come in:
a) mum wants to breastfeed, sometimes desperately so, but encounters difficulties, doesn't get the right support and stops. Guilt factor? There shouldn't be one. Mum should be angry about lack of support, and complain.
b) Mum can't breastfeed. This is rare, but for medical conditions or some situations, this might be the case. If you can't breastfeed, why would you feel guilty about it?
c)There is the situation where the mother, in full knowledge of all facts, chooses to formula feed, based on her individual circumstances and with very good reasons.
Guilt? Why? Sometimes life isn't as ideal as we wished it was and we weigh up risks and benefits and come to an informed conclusion that's fine, isn't it? Done, dusted.
d) Mum just doesn't want to breastfeed for one reason or another. Maybe she finds it yucky (yes i've heard that). That is society (culture/peer group) who's given mum that idea, again, mum's not to blame, it's very hard to oppose peer group pressure. Maybe she wants to keep going out/party/continue a life pre-baby or even doesn't want to be tied down to the baby all the time (which admittedly breastfeeding does) - or more likely conforms to peer group pressure to not be seen tied down by baby. Even I feel this pressure to just continue as usual, I see the looks I get when I used a lunch break to feed my baby, the apologetic "she doesn't take a bottle" that I still offer in explanation as if I had to justify myself. It's hard to breast feed exclusively, even if you're in a generally supportive peer group, how hard must it be if you're not? Again, mum shouldn't feel guilty if she gives in to this pressure.

So why do we feel guilty? Why do we read into every presentation of facts that demonstrates why it's better to feed human milk to human babies, rather than modified cow's milk that anyone formula feeding should feel guilty?

Research findings present us with facts. I don't get why fact finding is criticised. To claim that it won't have an impact on infant feeding choices is presumptious in my view - if we had figured out exactly what impacts on infant feeding choices, we wouldn't have those unbelievably low breastfeeding rates in some parts of the UK that I've quoted before (just as a reminder, there are various areas in Glasgow where rates are as low as 8% at the 6-8 week checkup - compare this to 95% in some countries). Now, these rates are too low by any standard and we absolutely need to do something about it. It's not about guilt tripping those who've made their choice - that's done and no research will change those choices or bring back the lack of support or whatever else that led to them, but it's about our future generations, it's about all those mums-to-be out there who are making their choice now and in future.

In a climate where everything non-statutory is being cut, breastfeeding support is waning and becoming more than patchy. And if there's one thing that's needed, it's quality support. It's vital that at least some voice out there keeps the importance of infant feeding on the agenda because there is an established link between low rates of breastfeeding and health inequalities in later life. Of course this is not just due to breastfeeding, and of course other parenting choices impact too (such as quality time spent with child every day, such as healthy weaning diet, such as access to exercise) but we can't exclude breastfeeding just because it doesn't sit well with us and formula has become oh so convenient like ready made meals. And as long as formula companies are allowed to market their product in rather questionable ways, shouldn't information marketing/promoting human milk be welcomed at the very least as a healthy balance? And how about we mums take a stance to market our product, regardless of how we fed our kids? It's cheap, convenient, high quality, no risk and tastier. Nevermind the feel good factor of being able to supply all your child needs. How come it's ok for formula companies to take airspace, advertising space in neonatal packs and the like, when research demonstrating the goodness of human milk is criticised? How come that at prenatal breastfeeding workshops facilitators are accused of being pushy when all they do is provide information and allow debate, and sometimes are even accused of being breastfeeding nazis (Breastapo is the word that I take real issue with. Nothing excuses using the evil of the Nazis in a wordplay on those promoting breastfeeding. Nothing.).

Back to the whole guilt issue. Guilt is a personal feeling. Information doesn't make us feel anything. It's neutral. How we respond is our personal choice. So to everyone who feels guilty, nobody is making you feel guilty or trying to do this, honestly. Unlike the suggestions on many platforms, news media or blogs, the research is not publish to make people feel guilty or to hit them with the breastick. Often, guilt is a sneaky feeling that turns something which should have an outward direction inward towards and against a person. Thus, instead of feeling angry with the lack of support to succeed in breastfeeding, we feel guilty for not managing. It's destructive at worst (PND anyone?) and unproductive at best.

How about we just stopped feeling guilty? How about we replace it with responsibility, knowledge and confidence?

Busy Needles

New babies, growing babies, growing children. So many reasons to knit. It also keeps me sane to make things, not sure why, it's like a drug. So my needles have been busier than usual, with the typical breaks, because my teething baby struggles to stay asleep at times.

Cubling had been due a cardigan for a while, as the owlet jumper I knitted for her turned out just very wrong (I now know where it went wrong but unsure how to fix it, must consult someone more knowledgeable on the knitting front if there's anything to be saved), and as 4 year olds no longer wear what their mummy picks, I let her choose her favourite cardigan out of all my knitting books, plus the colour scheme. It's the Heart-motif Cardigan, the main yarn is Rowan Milk Cotton which is very light and drapy, great for the breezy summer we tend to get here. The yarn for the hearts is a mix of various cottons I have in my stash, which makes for a bit of bumpiness/relief, which if unintended, is quite nice. My favourite bit of the cardigan is the frilly edging. My least favourite part: weaving in the many ends, 2 per heart plus the usual suspects. I made it size 4 years with a slightly bigger gauge than in the book, so it should last her two seasons I hope.

And for new baby C., I whipped up this simple vest which is such a quick knit and looks rather adorable methinks. Ideal for quick knitting satisfaction - I managed to do this in just 3 days. I used Debbie Bliss Donegal Tweed Duck Egg as the main yarn (it's a contender for my favourite yarn ever, it's unbelievably soft) and added a thread of Rowan Kidsilk Haze to the garter stitch parts of the vest. The sizing is for a one year old, but as you can see, it looks quite nice modelled on a 7 months old. I have a feeling that I'll knit another one for Snowflake because she just looks fab in it and I have just about enough yarn leftover to make another one, now if that isn't a sign I don't know what is.

Finally, I just had to knit the Owlet jumper again, just to show that I can do it. While it's made using the owlet pattern, size 6-12 months, I decided to make a short sleeve version for the sake of variety, but also because I found the arms a bit tight for my liking when I knitted it a while ago. I'm quite pleased with the outcome. I like the pattern because it looks as nice on a boy as it does on a girl, and there aren't many patterns out there that do! It'll clad a baby girl yet to be born (when knitting it I didn't know if it was going to be a boy or a girl), and I hope it'll keep her warm this winter and maybe even next, as the yarn is quite stretchy. I used Lana Grossa Nico for this, which I picked up in a German yarn shop. It didn't catch my eye instantly but came recommended and it definitely is easy to knit with and just perfect to show off the owlets. It's a very soft cotton yarn - classic, easy wash and bold colours.

And, believe it or not, I have exactly enough yarn left to knit another one. Which leads me to think that maybe I should because it's unlikely the yarn would be just right for another project. After all, there are another two babies on the way, so it all makes perfect sense, doesn't it?