Chase

These days, I feel like I'm chasing my own tail. Somehow, December has come upon us and I didn't notice. The advent calendar is filled up to day 4 only, and we only have one (poor neglected 1 year old, having figured she won't notice; ha, how wrong was I!) which sums up rather a lot.
It's not that the strategic plan isn't there, it's more that there aren't enough hours in the day to implement it. This, interestingly, applies to rather a lot of spheres of my life at the moment, and I'm perfectioning the art of doing the best in impossible circumstances.

It's not half as dramatic as it sounds, just that I'm walking the tightrope of appreciating the things I manage to do, and focusing on those that got left behind or not done as they should have, that standards are slipping and I can carve out less and less time for the little things that make my day.

Some days, I look back on a day filled with activity, with pride about what I achieved, because it usually is a lot. Then I get frustrated by the things that fall by the wayside. Sometimes I wonder if I should chart a day to the minutiae just to record how manic these times are. Manic, in fact, is a word that has entered my mind - there is definitely a feeling of frantic activity.

So, what has fallen by the wayside is blogging. I have numerous post for Nature Kids which just need writing, but there is no time. Instead, I've enjoyed the outdoors, with two development days. My knitting is way behind - I chuckle when I think of the grand plan I had in June, when I decided I'd make felted slippers for all the family. The felting yarn remains untouched and our feet remain cold, what with me refusing to buy slippers for my children's growing feet because after all, I have every intention to knit those slippers!

And yet, there's a lot of goodness in the manic days. A lot of learning, a lot of thinking, a lot of connections are made. Just that at times, prioritising is way too complicated and I'm faced with the dilemma of cutting corners that really cannot be cut.

But hey, it's not all bad. It's only the 2nd of December and there's two tins of Christmas biscuits done, most presents taken care of, and we've even transformed the kitchen table into a craft workshop. 4 year old is totally into drawing, cutting, making, decorating, writing and reading and her creative production line is definitely running. Keeping pace with her is the bit that's hard, she is so full of ideas and her ideas are good. It keeps my spirit up in the face of broken promises and frustrations of another sort. And as to our Snowflake, she lights up my day especially in these days, when the memory of last year's nightmare is rekindled and I feel so blessed that she is still with us and has become such a bright and determined little girl. She is my miracle girl and her smile still is the world to me.