You know that sinking feeling, when there's just too much to be done and you find yourself on facebook far too much because the mountain is just too big to tackle? Well, it seems my open uni course is moving too fast right now to keep up, throw in a 4 day work training in Cardiff, a child's birthday, a campervan trip, home being redecorated and it feels like the sky is falling down (and I now it's just an acorn, and it'll pass).
I was trying to take it all in my stride, forgetting my clumsy big toe, until just before I got home from Cardiff, on the finishing line between Glasgow Central and Cathcart, where I fell spectacularly into the train. Heavy rucksack on my back, heavy case clinched in my fist. I was a turtle on her back just that I had fallen flat on my front, the Kafkaesque person metamorphosed into a bug and unable to move.
Yes, I needed the help of a young gentleman to get me off the disgustingly dirty train floor, and my shins knew it had been a bad fall. 4 days later and it seems I managed to give myself whiplash because that pulsating headache, neck ache and shoulder ache is just not shifting. I was far too embarrassed to even make an attempt to thank my knight in shining armor and feel awfully guilty about it.
Am I using this as an excuse to postpone my uni assignments or am I really struggling here? I don't know, I just feel catapulted at top speed through my life and all I want is for it to stop and slow down.
It would help even if I didn't end up quite so tired at the 9pm spot when the kids are finally in bed, with a brain unable to do any studying. It's rather clear that this excursion to student life will not continue, 9 months of it is enough (6 months at this point). A bit like pregnancy, I remember vaguely I had more than enough at the 6 month point.
Snowflake really cheered me up by drawing a sad face and telling me that would be me if Mr Cartside, Cubling and Snowflake were dead. Top marks for empathy, bottom marks for making me miserable. But on the plus side, she loves me more than Elsa, which in 4 year old terms is probably a massive declaration of love.
And she made a dalmatian so all is well.