The volcanos are after me again. Only earlier this year we were stranded in Lanzarote, the volcanic island, due to snow in the UK. Now it's volcanic ash from an Icelandic volcano that has closed down every single airport in Germany. Our flight home has been cancelled and I have no idea when we will be able to travel.
It seems that my ingenious idea for alternative travel, to take the ferry from Amsterdam to Newcastle or Rosyth, has been had before and the route is as booked up as the Eurostar (not that I would consider a 12 hour train journey with my rather impatient girl while also 20 weeks pregnant).
I'm hard pushed to see the positives because once again I feel the work pressure on me, the rather large list of urgent to do's waiting for me, my annual leave yet again sifting through my hands like sand. The embarrassment of having to tell my boss that once again my flight has been cancelled and really I'm not making this up. Above all the fear not to manage a very exciting time at work due to lack of time, in my already inflexible work input imposed by childcare hours available and antenatal appointments to be attended. I can't even fricking check my work email or calendar due to this impossible computer I'm on.
And then there's that 20 week scan appointment on Monday morning. It took 3 pregnancies for it to be introduced in Glasgow and now I'll miss it, and judging by the letter that came with it, if you miss your appointment, there's no guarantee it can be rescheduled. And yes, I'm in mad mummy mode, I want to see my baby, ferociously.
Cubling on the other hand loves watching the images of the volcano. Not sure how she'll react if I have to tell her tomorrow that the ferry is fully booked and can't take us, as she was rather looking forward to going on a ship (as long as it wouldn't take her to that scary man made of rock that she saw about a year ago, when we took a small ferry to the island of Cumbrae - oh my does she have a memory!). Tonight on the phone to daddy she told him how she would see him tomorrow, how she was coming home to see him, because she loved him. So much excitement, and I so wish for her that we can still get onto that ferry.
If that fails I'll be stranded for a good few days more. I know there's worse things (like having your house close to the volcano), I know it can all be sorted, the world won't go under and that I'm in good company with even heads of states and even royalty affected as much as I am. I know I'm making a big fuss and others have much more pressing engagements they now can't attend to. Still, I've had my share and feel rather reluctant about any kind of travel in the future (and of course we do have another trip planned which I now almost wish we hadn't booked, with my luck this year it's not a good omen...).
So here's me, control freak, once again having her steering wheel taken out of her hands. I no like it, as Cubling would say. Can I throw a tantrum please?