How YOU can take action on the rising cost of childcare

It's no secret that the cost of childcare is huge and rising, but what can be done about it? Recent research by the Daycare Trust estimate that it costs an average of £177 a week for a full time nursery place in Britain for a child under two – which is like paying another mortgage. And if you have two children in childcare, well, what can I say? We pay the most in Europe (bar Switzerland) and our costs are one of the highest in the World. Making work pay? I laugh in your face Mr Cameron, because I'm not sure it really does for the majority of people with children under five.

Today the charities Save the Children and Daycare Trust launched their campaign on the cost of childcare. As part of the campaign, they want to find out what impact the rising costs of childcare are having on families; from forcing them to cut back on household essentials to making it difficult for parents to find or keep jobs - especially the poorest who could be priced out of work because of the rising costs.

They’ve launched the biggest ever survey of parents in Britain to find out how childcare affects their lives, what they think about it and what can be done to help them. The results will be used to show the Government what impact the high costs are having on families. Every parent/carer can fill in the survey and by doing so, have their say. So if you are a parent, regardless of whether you are currently using childcare (because you may not due to the cost) now’s your chance! - www.savethechildren.org.uk/childcare.

 

PS, please do blog about this and share the survey amongst your networks. The more parents/carers respond, the stronger the voice that Save the Children's and Daycare Trust's campaign will have to influence the Government.

Review and Giveaway: Bright Star All in One Nappy

As you may know, my babies are mostly cloth nappied and I've used a variety of different real nappy types. So I was only too happy to try out a new real nappy give my verdict on it. Amanda from Baby Bum Boutique sent me a Bright Star Baby All in One Nappy to try out and to give away to one lucky reader.

The Bright Star Baby Nappy is the first All in One (AIO) I've used. AIO are basically the closest to disposable nappies in relation to ease of putting on baby - it's just  like a disposable, just that you can wash it. While I don't have any comparison to other AIOs, the Bright Star Baby worked really well for Snowflake. It comes with the usual adjustable poppers and thanks to soft elastics, a perfect fit is quickly achieved. It closes with side poppers which are great for adjusting for the perfect fit around your baby. And because it's not velcro - chances are it'll stay on baby once he/she has figured out how to undo velcro!

Its insert is bamboo and folded three times which translates to really good absorbency even without a booster. The insert can be popped out for washing, or, in my case, for drying. Being bamboo, it's very absorbent but also takes that bit extra long to dry (which is logical, the more a fabric absorbs, the longer it'll take to dry). As I don't use a tumble dryer, it works well that the insert can be popped out and dried separately. The nappy is slim fitting, so it will fit under all those clothes designed for disposables wearing babas.

The nappy is super flexible, and fits tight yet gentle on baby. It's super soft thanks to being bamboo. It comes in a range of funky designs - so it also has something to show off. In fact, it caught the eye of many people who don't use cloth, which is right up my street because you can start an chat about real nappies and how good they are these days!

I've used the nappy a good few times now - it's still as soft and its absorbency is comparable to a disposable. I've had no leaks, and ended up wondering why I didn't get AIOs from the outset. I mean, really, what could be better than softest bamboo on your baby's bum and striking designs for your eyes? Save money and the planet as well, it's all good.
 
Oh and did I mention that one lucky reader has the chance to win a Bright Star All in One Nappy? How good is that? How you wonder? Well, you know the spiel:

-Leave a comment below for one entry,
- and share this post on facebook or twitter for an additional entry each (for twitter, please add @cartside to your tweet so I can see you shared it, and let me know in the comment box you've done so!)
Done. Draw will be on Friday, 13th May at 8pm.

Do check out Baby Bum Boutique for some special offers to celebrate Real Nappy Week, you may find a great bargain.

It's in the words where normality is created (or denied)

So they found yet another "benefit" of breastfeeding. This time it's all about the child's metabolism: "It could impact your child's metabolism." The article goes on to describe the different behaviour of the metabolism of a breast fed versus a formula fed baby.

What strikes me as wrong about this article is that it talks of "benefit of breastfeeding" and breastfeeding having an effect on the child's metabolism.
This implies that the "normal" way to feed a baby is formula feeding. And if you're brave and breastfeed, hey, you may reap a benefit!

However, it's really formula feeding that impacts on the child's metabolism. This is because in a world where the baseline is breastfeeding (we're mammals, hello?), this does not have an impact but is just the way things are, because human milk is what human babies drink. The research, then, shows that formula feeding has a negative impact on the metabolism of the baby. Yet somehow, this is not the way the media puts it and it leaves me wondering why.

Is it because the media is daft and unwittingly promotes the normality of formula feeding? Or is it out of fear of guilt tripping any formula feeding mums? (NB: the whole guilt tripping thing about formula feeding is another post in the offing, so I leave that unelaborated for now - let me just say that I think nobody should ever feel or be made to feel guilty) Or could it be that they fear the wrath of the baby food industry in the form of being sued?

Am I missing something or is it just me who finds it odd that breastfeeding is labelled as having benefits all the time, but formula feeding is never labelled to have a potential negative impact? As if, by breastfeeding, you're giving your child something extra. When in fact, by giving formula, the child gets something less.

Then there's the invariable comment on the fact that one breast fed child had allergies while a formula fed child didn't. As if anecdotal evidence ever won against scientific facts. My baby had pneumococcal meningitis, which is linked to formula feeding, yet she hasn't had a drop of formula so far. You know what? There are no guarantees. If you breastfeed you have no guarantee your child will never have allergies or will not fall ill with a tummy bug or be forever healthy. And of course there will be lots of formula fed children who won't get allergies, who won't have tummy bugs. Yet it's still true that formula feeding increases the risk and that every parent should know that formula feeding carries these risks - and then make an informed choice between the two. And not end up topping up like I did without knowing that this innocent little bottle of formula destroyed a virgin gut at 12 weeks, and again at 20 weeks when told to do so by a German pediatrician. (I don't feel guilty about this because at the time I didn't know. Now I do and wouldn't do it again).

For the record, I was formula fed, I do have allergies and a tendency towards weight gain. There may be a link, but who can tell? It might be just in my genes. I don't blame my mother at all - she was told she couldn't breastfeed (though I doubt that this was really the case) and at the time this was not questioned and formula was considered to be as good. She did as best as she knew. Today we know better and there should be sufficient and quality support to help everyone to successfully breastfeed who wants to breastfeed, and information for every parent to be that doesn't just talk about the "benefits" of breastfeeding but also the risks of formula feeding, so that they know the facts and don't find out, like me, after well over 2 years of breastfeeding. And all of this without the guilt tripping of course.

Election Day!

Here in Scotland it's a big day tomorrow. We don't just have a referendum to respond to, but elections for the Scottish Parliament.

It's a bit odd that the referendum on AV is coupled with an electoral process for electing the Scottish Parliament which is much more "progressive" (a word that Mr Cartside used and which of course contains a value judgement).

Coming from a country where proportional representation is supported by everyone as a fairer system, I am biased towards proportional representation. Personally, I think AV is half baked, but a tad better than FPtP, so I'll vote yes.

However, I also see FPtP as a very British institution. The UK is maybe the oldest democracy in the Western World, and has a great tradition of governance. FPtP is part of this and I can understand that it's cherished and rightly so. It is maybe part of the British identity, national pride even. This is a country where democratic principles can live alongside a strong monarchy. I'm no monarchist, in fact, I absolutely loathe the principle, but I also admire Britain for the ability to pull it off and get the whole world to love and adore the newly wed couple. And of course, Britain does not have the same history as Germany; which is why the country as such is able to trust an electoral system and governmental design which could be abused (but never has been).

So I'm easy in relation to the referendum. To me, AV is a slightly fairer version of FPtP. It is no real departure, just a variation. The Scottish Parliament election, to me, are more of a compromise, by marrying FPtP and PR.

Some years ago, I taught undergraduates all about the German political system, and about the Scottish electoral system too - it was the time between Referendum for a Scottish Parliament its first election and the first term. Exciting times. However, none of the undergraduates knew that there was an element of PR in the Scottish Parliament elections.

Therein lies the problem. If the electorate doesn't know how to play the PR system, it's potential is wasted. I hope that tomorrow, people know that they have two votes, and two opportunities to create a parliament for Scotland. As for my constituency, Labour and SNP are the two constituency candidates that are head to head. So with my first vote, I'll be voting for the party I wish to see leading the country. With my second vote, however, I will take the opportunity to support a smaller party in the hope that they will get enough votes to maybe even form a coalition with the winner of the elections, thus making a real difference to Scottish politics.

Truth be told, I'm more excited about the Scottish elections than the referendum. Which actually, isn't that surprising at all. As ever, we'll be making a family event out of it, with all four of us walking to the polling station, and no doubt meeting our canvassing neighbour there. 

ooh baby (show)

Over four years into our parenting adventure, we actually made it to the Scottish Baby and Toddlershow in the SECC this weekend. Somehow so far I hadn't been organised enough to make it, and it only happened thanks to receiving some free tickets thanks to Emma's Diary that it finally happened - just the kick in the backside that I needed and I'm rather excited to share my impressions and favourite exhibitors.

There's nothing like reviewing an event that had me enthusiastic about a good few exhibitors and that entertained Cubling all day long (including meltdown which I knew was going to happen but thanks to a giant Woody we turned the corner). Oh and there were a few Cartside rants too, of course, I just can't bite my tongue when someone tells me how I'm creating bad sleep habits because I rock or feed my baby to sleep. I should know better than to listen to self proclaimed Baby Sleep Gurus (and can't help myself, I do enjoy a rant you know).

I'd like to share some of my favourite exhibitors - those who had products to offer that I found excellent or useful, as well as some of the bits that I thought were missing or annoyed me a little bit.
On the whole, I was positively surprised by the wide variety of products, services and information. Of course you had your heavily branded and large companies, but there were lots of small ventures and initiatives too which made sure the Baby and Toddler Show is an excellent opportunity to find out about all things relating to baby, toddler and beyond.

Here are my top 10 of places I visited, in no particular order other than that of how the leaflets were pulled out of my bag (by the way - I don't receive any money or products from these companies for recommending them, I simply like them):

1. The Creation Station: The children's arts and crafts workshop people had a large area where children could get crafty. Cubling loved it and really made some fabulous things. The staff were brilliant and clearly loved what they were doing. We came home with some really nice and big items that now have a proud place in Cubling's bedroom.

2. Knitknacks: This is a little side business for the love of knitting. You can get absolutely stunning hand knitted vests, cardigans, and baby blankets from this Scottish lady. I adored her items, and only didn't buy anything because, well, we're not exactly short of hand-knitted stuff.

3. Tots Bots: What can I say, both my girls' bums are cuddled in Tots Bots cloth nappies. There are lots of great cloth nappies out there, and still I return to Tots Bots again and again. It's a Glasgow business, and by gum, they do a great job and beat the price of other brands too. As of now, Snowflake has a 24 hours clothed bum - some night nappies were purchased and I can declare that we've made the big scary move to say by by to disposables for good.

4. Baby Boom Boom provide multi-lingual musical fun and have created bilingual nursery rhyme cds - and yes, they proved me wrong when I said to Mr Cartside " I bet they don't have an English/German DC". (I'm rather disappointed that most bilingual products come in English/French or English/Urdu and it's rather hard to get by anything for our language pair which surely isn't an unusual combination). Basically, their nursery rhyme CDs provide second language version of popular British nursery rhymes. I can't comment on the quality of translation, but it's a great idea and there should be more of this!

5. Born Outdoors really fills a gap in the market. How I struggled to get hold of good outdoors clothing for Cubling - with only one retailer in the UK providing them by online order there wasn't much of a choice. Scottish based Born Outdoors brings Scandinavian quality and design to the UK.

6. Barefoot Books: Quite a few of our favourite ever children's books are published by Barefoot Books and I was delighted to see their stall at the Babyshow. And so was Cubling, what with a goat puppet drawing her in. She instantly made friends with the Barefoot Books Scotland Ambassador, and I was able to browse the full selection of books on display and went away with a few new story treasures. I particularly liked the collection of stories from around the world with CDs to listen to which are ideal for children from 4 years of age.

7. Ethical Classics make, er, well, ethical classics clothing. The company is founded on ethical principles, both in the production of clothing and their own operation, and the clothing is just stunning. I'm not one who gets excited about clothing (hand-made excluded) but their ranges really is to drool over. It really is something different, simple, timeless beauty.

8. Raindrops is another Scandinavian outdoor clothing shop for kids, based in West Sussex. I'm pretty happy to see two shops specialising in kids' outdoor clothing and have bookmarked both shops for future reference and forest kindergarten shopping.

9. Fill your pants: For anyone looking for advice on the wide range of cloth nappies on the market, Fill your pants was the right pit stop. If there was one mission I had when going to the babyshow it was to find some night cloth nappies, and the nappy gurus at Fill your Pants were just the right people to put me on track, even though it meant I didn't end up buying from them.

10. Meningitis Association of Scotland: There is no way I could not mention this stall, and the important work this charity does. In particular, they currently highlight the availability of Strep B tests for pregnant women. Many women carry Strep B and if baby is infected, it can become seriously ill after birth. This can be prevented by testing for Strep B before baby is born - however, while the test is available upon request, it is not generally offered to pregnant women. So, if you're pregnant and worried you may carry Strep B, do ask for the test and you'll get it for free on the NHS. I didn't know it was available and would definitely have requested it.


However, I thought it was a shame that there wasn't a single stall specialising in baby slings, while the buggy/pram area was massive. Considering how much I use my sling in comparison to other baby gear, and how I wish I'd never wasted the money on a pram, I feel that this is a real shame and means many parents-to-be miss out on information on baby slings.

Similarly, there was no stall focussing on breast-feeding information or support. It is guesswork why this is so, but I think it may be something to do with the cutback in breast-feeding support and the nature of how this support is organised.

I was pleased to see that most exhibitors provided cloth or paper bags for their publicity materials, but unfortunately some of the major players still hang on to plastic. I'm not going to name and shame though as I didn't manage to speak to them and ask why, which I really should have done. Another slight annoyance is the never ending collection of my personal details. I have my ways of tracking spam - but in general I do wonder if it's really so important to have all possible ways of contacting me. I'm more than happy to give out my email address, should that not be enough? Once again I can only wait and hope that my address is not sold on and we receive even more junk mail that goes straight to the bin.

The day was definitely worth it, I got myself some lovely night cloth nappies and beautiful books, plus lots of information. Cubling absolutely enjoyed herself, the highlight of the day for her was meeting Woody, Mickey Mouse and Peppa Pig (though she was sad that Buzz Lightyear wasn't there) and Snowflake was rather amazed by all the buzz and balloons.

::::: Full Disclosure: I received free tickets to the Babyshow in exchange for writing about the Show, courtesy of Emma's Diary. All views expressed in this post are mine, as is the selection of featured exhibitors:::::

Vamos a la playa

How better to spend Easter Monday than to take advantage of good weather and proximity to the sea. Did I say before how I love the fact that we live so close to both the sea and the hills? I grew up far from mountains and even further from the seaside, and I still find it such a gift to be able to head to the beach for the day.

So Snowflake was introduced to beach life by expert big sister, who showed her periwinkles, how to pop seaweed and how to build and destroy sand castles. Unlike the sandy play parks in Germany, Snowflake enjoyed the sand this time. Phew. We came home tired, full of sun and with a bucket load of shells (and lots of sand which still keeps popping up everywhere). I even managed some beach knitting and a nap in the sun.

We were at Portencross, near West Kilbride, where there is a small castle which is now accessible during bank holidays and school holidays.

We're not good with languages, or are we?

Every language teacher knows that motivation is key to language learning. It works on so many levels - why do we want to learn a language, how strong is our need for being able to speak the language?

If I got a pound for every time I heard someone in the UK say "we're not good with languages in the UK it's a shame, isn't it" I'd be rich. You see, it's simply not true. There is no country or nationality that is "not good" with languages. We're all pretty much the same on average and can learn second, third or seventh languages. The only thing that makes a difference in success in language learning is motivation.

In the UK, the general motivation for learning languages is low. This is not shameful at all, it's a fact. The main trade partner is the USA. English is the language of the world, of the internet, it's the lingua franca in many countries. It's a fact of life that you can get by speaking English only, so there's no real motivation to learn another language. On top of that, there is limited exposure to other languages, this being an island surrounded by water not other countries.

Compare this to my childhood. We had TV from Belgium in French and Flemish. Pop music in English. I listened to BFBS because near us were a good few British army bases and I thought British radio was the best thing since sliced bread. My best friend was Spanish, and there was an Italian, Turkish and Polish girl in my class. I grew up only 100 km away from Belgium, the Netherlands and Luxembourg. We went on holiday to Spain and Yugoslavia (Croatia now). Languages were everywhere.

So, my motivation to learn languages was high. The motivation in the UK to learn additional languages is low. I knew the theory. My daughter is the reality: Surrounded by media in English, people in English and with a mum who loves English and now speaks it more fluently than German, why on earth should she be motivated to learn/speak German? She knows that mummy speaks English too, so there's really no need to speak German. There's a need to understand mummy, so that works well. But speak? You must be kidding.

Hence I came up with a 10 point plan. And the idea of a longish trip to Germany without Mr Cartside.
Interestingly, Cubling started speaking fluent German as soon as we arrived in Germany. Just not to me. It was hilarious, after 4 years of hard work, she was giving me the cold shoulder linguistically. She spoke German to Opa, his partner, all my friends and all German children and blissfully lapsed back into English when she met E., another bilingual child who lives near London (and who incidentally understands German perfectly but doesn't speak it). Need I say that they bonded instantly although they'd not met before?

Upon our return, Cubling told me that I now need to speak English because all around us people speak English too. How observant. How true. How impossible to argue with.

Yet we've made a breakthrough. Cubling now realises that German is useful and that there are people who do not speak English too (like mummy). That there are children who speak German (I still remember the lightbulb moment when she watched a German TV programme and she saw children speaking German - before, all our TV time had been German animation).

And, amazingly, she now speaks much more German to me than before. She no longer rejects it and is much more compliant repeating sentences in German when she gets carried away speaking English. I've even heard her role playing with dolls in German.

Creating real motivation and needs to speak the minority language is crucial, and I think this is particularly the case if you live in an English speaking country because children will pick up that English is such an important and useful language. It is always hard supporting the minority language, but it's even harder in an English speaking country.

German, in Cubling's mind, is still "the other" language, which becomes apparent when she refers to children who are bilingual as "German" even if they are French, Lithuanian, or Urdu speakers. Yet she also shows a definite interest in other languages, asking me if I speak them and wanting to learn a few phrases. This in itself is to be celebrated, this early curiosity and interest in languages if nothing else.

There is something else though: The two weeks in Germany have renewed my motivation to continue with our bilingual home. Nothing compares to all of a sudden hear your child speak the minority language almost perfectly. I'm one proud mama.

When I'm a big woman, I want to marry...

Cubling is obsessed with getting married and weddings. It's really quite adorable, she loves dresses, dances and parties and that's what marrying is about, as I blogged about before.
So today, for the Easter egg hunt at her aunty's house, she declared that she was the princess and her cousin the prince and they would get married!

I blame the nursery. I spotted a crafted wedding cake with William and Kate on it, and a box of collected cherry blossom leaves which Cubling explained were for sprinkling at the wedding. I asked her who the people on the cake were and she said she didn't know, but surely some sense of prince and princess has entered her mind. Of course, being totally enthralled with Disney princesses (who always end up marrying don't they) adds to her fascination.

On our journey back, she deplored the fact she didn't get married to her cousin today after all. Once again, she declared her love or her little sister: "But when I'm a big woman, I want to marry Snowflake!"
We explained that you cannot marry your sibling. "But who can I marry then?" "you can marry any young man you love", daddy explained helpfully. "But I love you daddy!"

Ahhh.

She proceded to suggest she should tell all our unmarried friend that they should get married. Getting wed is clearly the ultimate life goal in the mind of our 4 year old.

Her best Easter present was a mug of Disney princesses incidentally. She wants all her juice and all her milk out of this cup from now on.

I have a feeling that we will have to watch the royal wedding. I find it rather ironic - back when Prince Charles and Diana got married, it was my mother who made me watch it. Looks like this time it'll be my daughter... They'll make a royalist out of me yet.

Happy Easter!

How did you name your child?

Oh how we struggled to find just the right names for our children.
It went something like this:
Me, trailing lists of baby names, books on the subject, top 100 baby girl names and baby boy names of about 20 countries or so. I obsessed. I had to find the PERFECT name. The one and only. Easy to pronounce, slightly unusual, not too unusual, international and all that.Mr Cartside just listened and vetoed.
When suggesting names I liked to Mr Cartside, invariably, he seemed to not like the ones I liked best. And when he liked one I suggested, I wasn't sure I liked it any more. At least that was my impression, some severe case of reverse psychology.

With Cubling, we knew we were having a girl. When I went into labour, we still had a list of about 15 baby girl names. Many of my favourites weren't even in because they had been vetoed by dad-to-be. I named Cubling in a drugged daze; I generously (for once) picked the name I thought Mr Cartside had favoured (Just that he may not in fact have favoured it, it was just my impression).

When we were expecting Snowflake, we didn't know if we were having a boy or a girl. Well, we still had that list of unused baby girl names and over the years, I couldn't get one name out of my head. Fortunately Mr Cartside liked it too so we were sorted for a girl.

But a baby boy name? Could we agree on one? It was all in vain. There were no arguments mind you, just an inability to find a name we were both really keen on. Take Alan or example. I think Mr Cartside suggested it, but I'm not sure any more. All I know is that initially I didn't like it so much, but did put it on the list, then really got into it, thinking it may be the perfect compromise, not my favourite but a lovely name, only for it to be vetoed in the end, with great disappointment on my part, I'd really grown rather fond of it. As for the obvious names we both liked, each seemed to be taken by about 3 or more children already (there are a lot of Finlays and Calums running about) or Rafael Nadal was getting a tad too popular for our liking. For obvious reasons I fancied Raul (pun intended), but with the whole Raoul story in the news I didn't even suggest it. Or did I? Well, it wasn't on the list that's for sure.

Just as well we had a girl then.
When we registered her name, we both eagerly read the 2010 list of top 100 Scottish baby names displayed in the office. We were surprised that Snowflake ranked rather high and that all the boys' names I liked were really rather popular.

And I had thought we were going for the slightly unusual. How wrong. We're just your average Scottish family, and our name preferences influence by what's popular right now.
Maybe Snowflake will share my plight of having more than one namesake in her classroom. Little chance of that for Cubling - though her name is well known, it's not currently popular.

With both names, I love their meaning. They are international and easy to pronounce in many countries. For middle names we used names of loved ones no longer with us.

PS we did involve Cubling in the naming game, just she wasn't playing and came up with ideas such as Snowflake. Silly isn't it?

How did you pick names? Did you consider their meaning or anything else that had to be just right?

A trip in words and pictures

We went to Germany for almost two weeks. Just the girls. It was an adventure. It was full on German immersion. And wasn't I surprised to hear my big girl speak fluent German to everyone? She kept it a big secret, but yes, she can speak German!

We came downs with a cough bug one at a time, Cubling first, needing emergency hospital admission (it turned out to be nothing serious, but I'm not taking any chances anymore), Snowflake next, keeping me awake two nights listening to her every breath, then me and finally Opa.

We went to the zoo. Cubling couldn't believe that we went to see real live animals, rather than the usual stuffed ones in the "Museum" (aka Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum).

We went to the woods.
We played on swing parks, the street, with water, sand and cherry blossom leaves (how well they attach to the buggy wheels after a rainshower!).

We visited lots of people, saw new babies for the first time.
Snowflake was scared by a hippo opening its jaw.

Cubling was scared of a shy tiger.
E's daddy was scared of a pile of giant cockroaches.
I was scared of the fairground ride I went on with Cubling.

We picked daisies and blew dandelion clocks
We saw a 5 day old elephant baby.

Cubling met lots of German kids and one English-German girl who she instantly bonded with big time.

We watched the Schuetzenfest parade.
We went to the fair.
We went up an old windmill in Zons (note to self: I really should update the English Wikipedia entry).

Cubling went on her first pony ride.
We ate a lot of ice cream, and Broetchen with egg.
We were hot a lot and got dirty feet from running barefoot.

Snowflake rolled a lot across floors and refused to eat any food.
We saw lots of flowers, leaves, ants and even wasps (one may have stung Cubling).
Cubling asked the pilot not to bump and he complied AND showed her the cockpit.
And the best part of the trip was running into daddy's arms upon our return.