Wee Shots:::Big Message

Wee shots is something I'd really like to share with everyone. It's the result of a lot of hard and inspired work. My involvement in it was marginal, but even marginal involvement in this case means I spent a significant amount of time on it.

Wee Shots came about as an idea, in the then YES Project office of Save the Children in Glasgow: making very short little films of what poverty means to children who grow up in deprived areas and using these views of children to explain what Save the Children's UK work is all about.

The idea inspired colleagues across the UK, and eventually got the sign off for a first programme of direct work with children and young people within our newly focussed work on child poverty in the UK. Almost a year after the initial conception of the idea as a local project, you can now view wee shots from across the UK: 4 groups of young people came together for one week each and explored the issue of child poverty in their area, making a one minute film each. These wee shots were pulled together to a national film. Now the national film is admittedly a bit disjointed because the groups of children and young people came up with lots of different ideas and styles and the whole point of the work was that everything was owned by the young people: their ideas, their views, their script, their storyboard, their editing, they approved, they made the films, rather than us creating a script to which to work. So watch the regional wee shots too, because those are the pieces that the young people actually created.

In practice, one film company (urban croft, don't you just love that name?) worked with a group of primary aged children in Glasgow, then went straight to Bradford, Oldham and London for a week each to work with older young people. 4 weeks of full on work, followed by the editorial process and further meetings with the groups. I was only involved with the Glasgow part of the project, an amazing experience with an enthusiastic and fun crowd.

National Film:


Glasgow Film:


And feel free to go to youtube to see the other wee shots from Bradford, Oldham and London.

Blogger Luncheon Monday

We've been treated. Courtesy of Pizza Express and a pizza with a hole in it. Now, I'm not easily overexcited of any freebies, but this one was good stuff: blog about the new pizza light (leggera it would be in Italian) and you get vouchers to invite bloggers near you for a free meal at your local Pizza Express.

We managed to just about squeeze it into September, when it had to take place. So, this Glasgow bank holiday Monday, there were slugs on the refrigerator, mindful mums, southside yarns and we all synchronized us with some babies in one Glasgow pizza house to have lovely food, a great blether and were able to put faces to names, and more importantly, to words.

Now, did anyone else found it a rather interesting experience to be chatting to folk they'd never met but knew more about than most of your casual friends? Having never been on a blind date or met virtual friends in real life before, I found it quite thrilling and a tad disconcerting, in a strangely pleasant way. Time flew by which must mean we had a great time, and I almost missed an appointment and turned up late to pick up Cubling from the childminder, but I wouldn't let a great day end in stress and took it easy - and made both just in time.

So thank you Pizza Express for this getting us into gear for a Scottish Parent Blogger meetup and the nice food to go with it and I can't wait to see everyone again soon - maybe at some east coast venue next so that Edinburgh/Fife bloggers can join in too.

Oh, and the leggera pizza is rather lovely too and on Facebook you can get an offer voucher for 2 pizzas for 10 quid apparently.

And I promise sincerely that tomorrow I will finally tell you all about what it was like to walk on fire!

weekend in pictures: here comes autumn

We've been oh so busy. Thursday to Friday noon in Clackmannan, braving the outside world twice, painting, playing with water, climbing, baking. Then straight to North Ayrshire for a night camping on a colleague's farm, to give a proper goodbye to 3 amazing colleagues who are the last in a way too long list of recent redundancies. Cubling was manically and frantically excited, the kind of excitement that is impossible to control, about seeing animals, sleeping in a tent (a first), a pumpkin head, combine harvesters, tractors, mud, kittens, massive dogs, cosy fires, a trampoline tent, cutting logs with an axe, lighting a real pyre. Next visit to another Ayrshire town to see granny and grampa, a shopping spree, finally crash landing in bed. It was all good. Particularly last night's sleep to recover from it all and Cubling's boundless energy.

I have a pile of blogposts to come, more than making up for my recent silence, but to start off with, here's our weekend in pictures:

Cubling dressing up as Mr Kickeriki
Guess who was the first up in the morning?

Making leaf prints with collected leaves. Cubling got really into this, while her cousin is more into letters and numbers, so he counted up to 100 and demanded the numbers to be painted one by one. He's only 2 3/4...
Making (and eating) fairy cakes
Too many cooks spoil the broth? Rubbish. And who has climbed onto the table again, licked the butter tub, stole some dough and tested what would happen to an egg if you dropped it from the table, while her cousin patiently mixes the ingredients to a soft dough?

The attack of the one-eyed killer kitten.

I back!

In the words of Cubling, we're back from 4 amazing and very different days. Updates will be forthcoming, in the meantime Cubling would like to share her amazing discovery: Look, mummy! Tombliboos' house!!! Indeed, don't you think?

She sleeps like a baby

Here I sit, with a glass of wine, at home, relaxed, blogging. I've just seen a friend out who had visited for a few hours, after a lovely chat. It's close to my bedtime and I'm looking forward to a nice night's sleep, to be up again in the morning for a busy day at work.

A scenario which only a year ago would have been an impossibility. Wind back even two years, and you would see a nervous wreck, who endured the torture of being woken every. single. hour. during the night.

How did I get here? What did I do right? Especially when all the books told me I was doing it wrong? If I hadn't got a PhD yet, I'd have one now. A PhD in baby sleep. I know it all, I've been through the worst, read the books and flung them against the wall to spit on them and throw shoes at them. And here I am, alive and above all, with all the night sleep I can ask for. I know about controlled crying, cry it out, feed to sleep, baby whisperers and every trick in the magic box of getting baby who will not sleep to sleep. My pride is unspeakable: My 2 1/2 year old (today) sleeps through the night, from 8pm to 7pm and also gives me a daily present, the best present ever, of a two hour nap. I am one happy mummy.

Cubling is a spirited baby. Spirited babies are hard to soothe, very active, don't nap well, hard to get off to dreamland, like to be carried, cry a lot and long, are strong willed, and have more than the fair share of personality. There were moments where I was close to despair, where I seriously questioned if I'd done the right thing wanting to have a child or if I was creating more suffering than joy.

My baby cried a lot. She cried in the pram. She cried between feeds. She cried when tired. She cried when not bounced. She did not take a dummy, a bottle, a finger. She only ever settled when on the breast or when held. I dreaded going out for walks because without fault, she would not nap but scream the park down. She would not nap when moving, she would not nap when still, she would not nap for more than 30 minutes. There was no doubt, her inability to nap meant over stimulation and yet less sleep and more crying. We had entered the vicious circle of the spirited baby.

Nights were reasonably ok. After 2am that is. Before that we had to endure either a feeding marathon or 7 hours of screaming. Once she did sleep, she would wake every 3 hours for a feed and fall asleep over it, and as long as she did that, I functioned. But then there were teeth and she would not give me 3 hours spells of sleep. I trialled the theory of 3: 2x3 hours of sleep - bliss, 1x3 hours of sleep, I'll get through the day if it's less than 3 nights in a row. less than 1x3 hours of sleep or 3 night of only 1x3hours of sleep and I was close to acts of aggression.

There were low points. Once, I phoned Crysis. I was in tears of despair, shaking with panic and sleep deprivation. Once, when a month of hourly wakings at night time had turned me into some person I didn't know, I deposited Cubling in a different room, as if that would make her stop crying. I was close to shaking my beautiful beloved baby. Really close. I did shout at her. 3 times I think. I'm not proud of this, but it did help and above all - it prevented me from shaking her, it got rid of all the frustration which needed some outlet. Strangely it also stopped her crying, and she strangely didn't look bothered by it.

Until finally, after all else had failed, a desperate forum post of mine brought the solution: an electric swing. I put Cubling into it and within seconds, she was asleep. She started to nap 3 times a day, 3 precious hours (one nap was even 1 1/2 hours!) where I could recharge my batteries. I finally threw out all books - all they did was tell me NOT TO EVER USE AN ELECTRIC SWING BECAUSE IT'S EVIL!!!

It's not. It's great. It worked.
And I weaned her off it at 6 months, replacing it with the buggy, where she napped until she was almost 2.

Night times were still hard going. Cubling was teething incessantly and the only thing that would calm her to get me my magic 3 hours of sleep was mummy milk. We did try to wean her off night feeds but with each tooth or illness, a week's effort was gone, something we couldn't keep up while working. So I waited for 20 teeth to come through and on the eve of number 20 saying hello, at 17 months, the night of no more mummy milk was neigh.

Within 2 weeks, she slept through regularly, until 5.30 or 6am, which was followed by another few hours after an early morning feed, the most beautiful, relaxing, cuddly, blissful feed you can imagine. There was nothing like snuggling up with Cubling in the early hours and knowing that she would sleep for another 3 hours, at my side. I was in the land of maternal bliss.

Maybe I should have weaned her off night feeds early, I don't know. All I know is that controlled crying, pick up put down, patting and humming, singing and shuggling, hugging and cuddling, touching and stroking, dummy, fennel tea and bottle DID NOT WORK. They made things worse if anything. The only tools I had were an electric swing/buggy during the day and my boobs during the night. Between them, we managed to stay sane.

Cubling slept for the first time for more than 5 hours at a time at 9 months 3 weeks. She started to sleep through regularly at 17 months. Even then, it took me an hour to send her off to dreamland at night time. The books told me I created a bad habbit and she'd be a bad sleeper for life.

Well look at her now, please would you: light out, not a whimper until the following morning when I actually have to wake her. I'm only sleep deprived because I can't stop blogging, tweeting or checking my emails, because I want to knit yet another row or watch a film.

So if anyone tells you this or that is best or the only way, handle with care, you're baby may not agree. Go with the flow. Give everything a go. See what works for you and be proud of it. Don't worry about so called habits. You can change any habit later when you're not so tired.

Above all, please believe me, if your baby is a bad napper/sleeper, it doesn't mean she will always be. There is a lot of light at the end of the tunnel.

I'll be off to bed then. Good night.

EA Sports Active Personal Trainer Review

A good little while ago, I was sent the EA Sports Active Personal Trainer to review, a fitness programme for the Nintendo Wii which can also make use of the Wii Balance Board. It came just at the right time, when I'd started my attempt to shift a stone of weight and above all, get back into some form of exercise, well over 2 years post baby. My exercise regime, and weight loss, are currently on hold because there's only so many hours in the day. However, I had a really good shot at the product.

I used to be reasonably fit and I have a tendency to, well, overdo it. In the sense that if I do exercise, I want to get sweating and get the most out of it. The Wii Fit was getting boring, so I was delighted with the opportunity to test the EA Sports Active, it was a welcome change of scene on the TV screen.

The programme comes with a leg strap and a resistance band, and you will need a nunchuck for it. It's also useful to read the instructions and get an introduction to each individual exercise (I couldn't be bothered just wanting to start exercising and had a few interruptions as a consequence).

The actual programme offers a range of preset exercise sessions, ranging from easy to hard, 15-45 minutes. Alternatively, you can embark on the 30 challenge (which I did and then didn't complete) or make up your own exercise sessions.

What I liked about it was that it's reasonably customizable. For instance, you can choose at any workout whether or not you want to use the Wii Balance Board for your workout. To be honest, I find the Balance Board rather cumbersome so while I tried it, what with having to change between it, the resistance band and the nunchuck either in the leg strap or in the hand - to make things simpler and quicker, I preferred to use the EA Sports Active without the Board.

Once you get to know the different activities, it's great fun to make up your own exercise session, with all your favourite activities. I also liked the range of exercises - as someone who has absolutely no knowledge of baseball/cricket, I utterly enjoyed the baseball exercises. The resistance band allows you to make muscle toning exercises as hard as you like. There is an almost endless list of different exercises, covering both muscle toning and aerobic exercises. Another feature I liked was that there was an option to change the music and that the music in general didn't get repetitive. Of course, I'd be in heaven if I could actually use my own music somehow but clearly this is not something I'd ever expect in such a game. Another feature I liked was the calorie count - I find this more motivating than anything else. A final plus is the fact that at the start of each session you can pick the intensity of the workout.

The personal trainer got a bit on my nerves at times. I'm not one who enjoys constant praise, I'd rather get on with it. Having said that, it's not as bad as the Wii Fit trainer. Some exercises took me a while to get right, such as the inline skating (once I got it, it was great fun though). I never got the fast highkicks and honestly believe that they just don't work. The dance exercises were rather pointless, a bit of waving but no real exercise - just as well they never lasted long. The resistance band lost its resistence a little bit over time, and it also occasionally flopped out of it's holder - not a big drawback but annoying when it happens in the middle of an exercise. During an sessions, especially if it's the 30 day challenge, there is no indication of length of the session. This is a bit of an inconvenience if Mr Cartside asks me when I'm done and I get it wrong because today's session is about twice as long as yesterday's and he has to miss his favourite TV programme.

The 30 day challenge is a good idea, however, it would work better if it could be personalised to one's own calendar. The theory is that there's 2 days of workout, one rest day. Now, my life doesn't work according to a preset fitness game schedule. While I realised that you can do an exercise day even on rest days, you can't pre set the 30 day challenge calendar according to your own diary.

The most annoying drawback for me was that if a session of the 30 day challenge finished after midnight, it didn't count for the previous day. It upset me no end, having just done the hard 40 min workout and then seeing it come up as a missed day in the calendar. Little things like that get to me, you know. The 30 day challenge also offers a lifestyle questionnaire which I found very motivating - I did actually drink more water and eat more vegetables knowing that it would get me extra points. I'm that fickle.

In comparison to the Wii Fit I enjoyed the greater range of exercises, the greater customization, and the fact you can actually do a 30-45 minutes exercise session without interruptions or having to navigate in the menu. All in all, the EA Personal Trainer is definitely value for money. I would use it regularly and it really worked for me, with a reasonable combination of muscle workouts and aerobic exercise that did get me sweating and a good bit fitter, all in the comfort of your own home.

Shame it's got to be sent back really. To be honest, I don't want to know who'll be getting my review set as a second hand product - there was quite a lot of sweat lost and absorbed in it. Not so sure if the future owner will appreciate it...

5 tags, 2 memes, 10 memories, 35 answers, 2x5 blogs

I've been tagged by three lovely bloggers all at once to do the Great Read/happy memories tag and really lagging behind with actually posting it. Thank you Really Rachel, Being a Mummy and someone else (sorry, forgot! and very embarrassed I did) I've got real mummy reasons for not passing this on timely, having re-entered the land of sleep deprivation and utter lack of me time. And it's only partly to do with my sweet niece, mostly Cubling has decided to wake up to 5 times a night and shout for mummy, daddy or simply scream the house down. Which doesn't come appreciated when you're trying to give another new mummy some hours of sleep (and of course Cubling doesn't wake when her baby cousin is awake, but in between times!). Add to that busy busy work schedule, managing the redecoration of my old flat (which has been on the market unsold for 15 months), spending 4 days a week at my sister in law's house to help her around the house and keeping the 3 kids between us straight while she's recovering from her c-section, and you can imagine that there is very little time for anything other. So lots of mental posts, little real posts. All I can do is fit in the occasional row of knitting. And even that is slow. And after this paragraph, my head is even dizzier.

The thing is, I'm kind of brain dead. Do I have memories? I suppose I do. Just hard to gather them in the sleepy and thomping head of mine.

I wish to share beautiful memories. Yet nothing is pure happiness in the Cartside home at the moment. The memories I collect at the moment, which is all I can think about when I think "memories" are those of my late brother-in-law. There were some fabulous memories, but I'm appalled at how few clear memories there are. Our brain works in strange ways. There are photos of shared days with me in it, yet I don't remember the occasion. Sometimes it takes a focussed chat and the memory will come back, in a dimmer lightbulb moment, a tentative light being switched on ever so slowly. There are not enough of these chats because they still hurt a lot.

It seems my memory is no better than rubbish. So the memories I do have, I treasure even more. And I try to remember more, because memories can't be taken away as easy as a life. He lives on in our hearts and minds and this is why I want to share 10 beautiful memories of my brother-in-law.

-Before Christmas, he showed Cubling the installations in the McRobert Arts Centre, and we watched "Little Light".

-His happiness on this day, his pride in his son as he read the Gruffalo to him in the car while we were still chatting outside
-My memory of him pushing Cubling and her cousin in a wheelbarrow and the delightful screams of joy they uttered

-His chat to me after his son was born, reassuring the then very heavily pregnant me that even a c-section isn't all that bad (which I so needed, my sister in law's first c-section scared me endlessly, as she too would have done everything for a natural birth)

-His first visit to our flat after Cubling was born and my first walk through the park
-Throwing autumn leaves over our two buggies in Queen's Park

-Him cooking me up a quick and oh so tasty meal before setting off home

-Testing out the Wii one lazy afternoon
-The near explosion of his home brewed ginger beer upon opening
-Testing him on his single malt whisky knowledge (he claimed he could always tell a single malt from a blend). I'd bought him a whisky. He said it was definitely a single malt. It was a blend. I teased him about this for ages.

And I pass this on to five deserving bloggers:
Piglet - Our Adventure in Parenthood
Slugs on the Refridgerator
Lost in Translation
Yummy Mammy
Spanglish Baby

Next is yet another tag, Who's the Mummy kindly passed this on to me. This one is short and sweet with one word answers only!

Where is your mobile phone? pocket
Your hair? brunette?
Mother? dead
Father? far
Your Favourite Food: chocolate
Your Dream Last Night: none
Your Favourite Drink: Bailey's
Your Dream/Goal: happiness
What room are you in? living
Your hobby: many
Your fear: spiders
Where do you want to be in 6 years: home
Where were you last night: friend's
Something that you aren't: witty
Muffins: Blueberry
Where did you grow up? Germany
Last thing you did: blog
What are you wearing: jeans
Your TV: black
Your pets: bugs
Friends: lifeline
Your life: full
Your mood: stressed
Missing someone: mum
Vehicle: car
Something you're not wearing: make-up
Your favourite store: etsy
Your favourite colour: mauve
When was the last time you laughed: today
When was the last time you cried? yesterday
Your best friend: there
One place you go to over and over: Dublin
One person who emails you regularly: boss
Favourite place to eat: Thai

The rules say that I need to pass this on to five worthy bloggers, oh, I hear you running far and wide, but you can't hide from my public tag!
Intrepidly Bilingual
Metropolitan Mum
Noble Savage
Perfectly Happy Mum
Muddling Along Mummy

Finally, while I was trying to complete this post, Maternal Tales form the South Coast bestowed the Great Read Award upon me for a forth time - I'm blushing now with all this kindness from so many fellow bloggers. Thank you all so much!

Can I do better?

(photo credit: Strohballen/haybales by Peter Heilmann via Flickr)
This is the week where I decided that I'm a tad inconsistent when it comes to sticking to OPOL (that's one parent one language to the uninitiated amongst you, the method we are told to use for successfully fostering bilingualism in our children). Not that this is a new realisation. There are so many situations which I class as exceptions and considering that there's no way that Cubling won't know that I speak English reasonably well, she'd better be able to use German in spite of the easier route of speaking English to me.

All well until you spend a lovely evening with your friend who has a child exactly the same age, the same language combination, and the little rascal speaks fluent German. Which is not something I can say about Cubling. Competition is a great motivator. Of course of course I hasten to add that I'm not in this for a competition. Yet admittedly there was some sort of a realisation that maybe, just maybe, we could be doing better.

After all, our exceptions are becoming the rule. I'm at a disadvantage to start with, thanks to my 4 day working week. When it comes to language, Cubling is exposed to English only on 4 days of the week (minimal German exposure because hubby does most of the morning and evening activities). The weekends are usually spent with my sister in law her children, and whenever I address both toddlers, or my sister in law, or hubby, or grandparents - guess what, it's English. How often in a day do I mistakenly address Cubling in English? I truly try not to, but life is complicated and my mind runs in English. It's an effort speaking German. A pain in the Popo.

Then there's combine harvesters. Two toddlers obsessed with them (and there are a good few kicking about in Clackmannanshire) and not an hour goes by without some chat about the fabulous combine harvesters. They don't have to be combine harvesters, it's the principle that counts: I have not the foggiest idea what the German word would be. Do I bother looking it up in a dictionary? Hm, not really. So thanks for A, who did look it up. So as of today, Cubling has a new word in her vocabulary:

Maehdrescher.

Hurray.
So, our conversation today on the one hour drive to the wee county went something like this:

Cubling: Where combine harvester is?
Me: Ich weiss nicht. Wir muessen die Augen aufhalten und den Maehdrescher finden.
Cubling: Where is Maehdrescher?
Hiding? Bushes?
Me: Nein, der vesteckt sich nicht in den Bueschen. Entweder ist er auf dem Feld oder in der Scheune.
Maehdrescher! Are you?
Maehdrescher!
Mama, say Maehdrescher!
Maehdrescher!
Maehdrescher, Mami, say Maehdrescher!
Maehdrescher cut grass, back Heuballen (combine harvester cuts the grass and out of the back come hay bales)
I not like Combine Harvester. Is funny.
I Angst Maehdrescher hab it.
I no want see it Maehdrescher.
Me: Okay, dann suchen wir eben keinen Maehdrescher.

Note: funny = scary (what a philosophical thought behind that equation) and Cubling is now telling me to say words in German rather than English, copying my "kannst du Maehdrescher sagen?"

We've also had our first false friend in German, proving that interferences work in both ways and that bilingual kids embrace the easier language either way. Thus, pointing to a kite, Cubling said this was a dragon, quite clearly transferring the German concept of Drachen (which denotes both kite and dragon) to English. How I delighted in this that other parents would see as a mistake. To me it showed that German is active in her thought processes even when speaking English.

One month of insisting that she speaks German to me so far has yielded some more German utterances, always second to the initial English utterance. And a very bored mummy who is rather sick of constantly saying "auf Deutsch bitte" and interrupting any natural conversation. As in, I enjoy chatting to my wee girl, but now I'm a teacher, always with secondary motives. Not a nice feeling. Yet I know that if I don't insist now, all the effort would have been in vain.

I still struggle with bedtime books, particularly because there's significant and inconsolable protest if I refuse to read the Gruffalo or Harry McLary because they're Daddy books.

What works well is singing German songs. Hampelmann, Ein Vogel wollte Hochzeit feiern and Gruen sind alle meine Kleider are the longstanding favourites. Then there's a 4 day trip to Germany ahead of us which may work wonders to the reluctant toddler speech.

Above all I'm green with envy that toddler friend is doing so much better.
Maybe competition is the best motivator after all. Whatever works. I'll be saying "Was sagst du? Auf Deutsch bitte!" a few more times then.

Free lunch anyone?

I'm not one easily excited about the freebie offers that some of us mummy bloggers get, and clearly it's not why I blog. However, I really liked the idea about the Leggera Bloggers Lunch. Basically, you get a free Pizza Express lunch in September, by posting about this marketing initiative (which I hereby do) and tagging the bloggers who you would invite for lunch.

A free lunch and getting to meet fellow bloggers? Sounds pretty good to me. Especially because the only bloggers I know are those who were friends first and only became bloggers later. So I'm rather excited to meet some of the people behind the blogs I read. Plus I've got an inkling that this may be the start to a Scottish Parent Blogger meet up. Because we're really all very jealous about all the lovely get togethers that the southern mum and dads get.

The date, time and venue are set: Monday 28th September, 2pm in Glasgow. Venue will be confirmed directly to participants (I don't like to publish my exact whereabouts on the internet). You can come with or without kids - obviously it's easier to chat without kids but kids are very welcome too!

I'd like to tag:

Laura who blogs at Synchronization of us

Jules who can be found blogging on South Side Yarns and for whom it would be rather a feat to make it I'm sure with little I.

Kat who blogs on Slugs on the Refrigerator

Siobhan who has Two in There and we'd be delighted if she manages to make it through in spite of the closeness to her due date

Ali who blogs on Mindful Mum

In case she can make it, even if a bit late: Melaina aka Transatlantic Blonde

And I'd also like to tag Little Mummy, Feeding Five for Fifty, Snapdragon Garden, Hullaballo, Half Mum Half Biscuit in case they are free.

If you're about Glasgow on 28th September, a blogger and wish to join in, hands up and let me know in the comment box or send me an email and I'll tag you too.
Let me know if you're in (you can email me, contact me through twitter or leave a comment) because I need to know numbers soon for the lunch vouchers.

And the plan is to meet again a few months later maybe in Edinburgh to give the east coasters a fair chance too. Any sponsors wanting to pay our food bill ;) ?

weekend in pictures: what toddlers love to do

Cartside is busy and sleep deprived, so to keep you entertained, here are some pictures capturing what toddlers do, and some clouds assembling over the Ochils to set the scene. If you want to read stuff, please go to the Best of British Mummy Bloggers Carnival over at New Mummy where you will find 41 excellent posts to enjoy.

Broadcast will be resumed soon.

toddlers love to swing

toddlers love to take peas out of a pod

toddlers love to make Mr Potato Head

Toddlers love to climb