Wednesday, 30 December 2009

potty training 10 days down

While I'm still knitting like a mad hatter in a race against time, I also need a little break, and possibly, some advice. So here is one last post before we head 4 air hours south: Something along the lines of an update (or cry for help) on the potty training front.

We're 10 days down the line and I had secretly hoped we could travel without nappies. It's not looking good, and while we have no hold luggage and will be keeping our luggage minimal, I think I'll have to take at least a day's supply of nappies along.

This is our road so far:
We went cold turkey. Nappy off, pants on, skirts and tights, spray disinfectant and terries on hand. Oh and the potty of course. I explained that pee and poo was for the potty or toilet, that she was a big girl now and would get a chocolate if she did either on the potty/toilet. And she'd be a Klokoenig (loo king - that concept is from a German potty training book that we read). The very book also has an episode of the boy unrolling a toilet roll while sat on the toilet. Cubling loves sitting on the toilet and copying him, announcing that this makes her a Klokoenig. Hm, not sure about that one.

Days 1-5:
Cubling really did NOT want to sit on the potty. However, being malleable and easily blackmailed, we managed to get her to sit on it while watching the TV, cuddling mummy, reading books etc.
At the same time, she hated pooing in her pants more than pooing in the potty, so we had 100% success on the no. 2 front.
Success on the pee front: 0%

Days 5-10:
Cubling doesn't mind sitting on the potty but neither particularly likes it. She verbalises that poo and pee go in the potty and that she'll get chocolates for it and will be a Klokoenig and that mummy will even make her a crown. She doesn't want to sit on it for the sake of it, but is happy to be transferred when something is imminent.
However, whenever I ask her if she needs to go, she says no. If I sit her on the potty or toilet, nothing comes. Sometimes she says she needs to and I sit her on the potty for 5 minutes - nothing. Repeat. Repeat. Put pants on. A minute later - that face, whining, "I done pipi!" In the pants/carpet/mummy's favourite Nepalese cushion that is. I try to focus on the success that she seems to be happy to use the potty now and seems to understand what this is about.

Poo continues to work better than wee except when visiting friends and when mummy is not around (Cubling is still rather focused on me). Only one day with 50% of pee success, total fail for all other days. When she does do something in the potty, she is slightly upset and needs lots of reassurance, doesn't want to see the result, but rejoices and celebrates the success. And celebrate we do.

Since we've started, she's been dry at naptime, and amazingly, dry 50% of nights (and she sleeps 12 hours!). She only ever needs to wee 2-3 times a day - so she goes a long time between and definitely can hold her bladder! The problem, in my interpretation, is that she doesn't seem to know how to let go. So she waits until she really can't hold anymore and we don't even make it to the potty. From her little wail to the waterfall coming I have about 5 seconds. Which is not enough most times. She also never verbalises that she needs to go - it's just a particular look of slight terror in her face and this little whinge.

Of all the readiness checklists the one thing that she failed on initially is wanting to use the potty/toilet. I have a feeling that she is quite prepared to do it now and reasonably keen, but she can't judge when she needs to go. She has also so far never done a wee when I sat her on the potty/toilet because I knew she had a full bladder - it's as if she's physiologically unable to actively pee. I'm not sure if that interpretation is right, possible or just daft. Thing is, I know my girl and she is eager to please and I do believe that while she's not entirely comfortable using the potty (which will come with time), she does want to use it to please me (and doesn't enjoy having wet pants). I'm convinced this is not a power struggle but that she's finding the practice really rather difficult.

So, where do we go from here? Is she ready or not? Shall we abort or keep going on our holiday? Are there any tricks to teach her to sit on the potty before she is bursting and how to let go even if she's not got a bladder full to the brim?


Very Bored Housewife said...

I would maybe go back to the nappies for a while. Not sure how old Cubling is, says 2 in your bi-og but is that just 2 or nearly 3? Joseph trained really late, and I mean really late, as in about 2 weeks before he started school he was 3 and 2 weeks. He still hasn't mastered pooing or night time dryness and I am very much of the school that easy persuasion will win over forcing it.

She sounds very much like a friend of mines daughter would who also just hang on to that wee for dear life. She just decided of her own accord that one day she would be a big girl and it was all sorted at once, poos, night time, the lot!

Have faith. xx

Ang (A Mum's Survival Guide) said...

Can you keep going whilst on holiday? If so I would continue with it. It's very easy to stop but she has signs of holding etc, just needs to control her bladder a bit more and that will come with time. We drove four hours when Little Miss A was only just potty trained and she held it and held it until I bribed her with a bottle of juice if she went in the potty (on the roadside) and then there was no stopping her. We had "special soap" (anti bac hand gel for when there were no toilets around to wash hands) and she loved it.
10 days in isn't that long to be honest so don't despair. If you're happier with it start again after your holiday?

Kat said...

It all takes time. She is doing well and given time will be fine. I know it doesn't help given what your CM said but few children are immediately dry. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

We have all this to look forward to and I must admit that I am very nervous about it already.

I hope you find a way to make it easier and less stressful for yourself.

Best of luck and HAPPY NEW YEAR. All the best for a prosperous 2010.

cartside said...

VBH - she's 33 months, so closer to 3.

We now have serious holding in issues. Argh.

Happy new year to everyone!

Jules said...

Hi there. Hope your holiday is going ok ... so this advice/tuppence is too late I know but you know if it's causing too much stress and taking too long I would go back to the nappies for another month or two then try again. She will inevitable get there so best not to surround it with tension and I think if she's not happy with it just now it may cause later issues such as bed wetting. There really is no rush! A is still wearing nappies at night and is well over 4 but I just want her to be completely happy and nobody is going to be happy with wet beds in the middle of the night! Good luck and have a *fab* hol x



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