Sunday, 26 September 2010

The end of babymoon

Two weeks of paternity leave are coming to an end, and this to me is the end of my babymoon. Thank goodness there is such a thing as paternity leave because otherwise I'd surely be bonkers by now. It's good for so many reasons, to give mum a chance to recover (crap though that c-section recovery takes a bit longer than 2 weeks, did anyone think about that?) and older siblings a chance to adjust to suddenly having another person in the house who seems to get all the attention.

So Cubling was showered in daddy attention, and oh I don't know how I can keep up with this.
Needless to say I'd love to, but there is this little one, needing fed, changed, carried, rocked.
And there's me, unable to lift things, unable to play rough and tumble (which is Cubling's favourite game, just being silly, playing chase and the like), having to watch she doesn't climb on top of my wound or simply run into me.
I have to resist not putting on the DVD player too often, but I already know it will be on a lot. At least she enjoys it as snuggle time, and isn't really into watching TV by herself.

Tomorrow, for the first time, and luckily only for one day to start with, I'll have to entertain two children while being anything but up to my usual strength (though to be fair I'm healing really well and I'm amazed how pain free I am, but that's part of the problem because the temptation to overdo it is constant), without being able to drive or walk any distance. It fills me with very real and deep anxiety, yet I know that the only way out of this worry is to just face the day and get on with it.

Sure I'm not the first to manage, and won't be the last. And what would be the worst case scenario? A temper tantrum, a day stuck at home, three frazzled girls by 6pm. So what? Who expects supermum (other than myself of course) or a roast dinner freshly prepared, after all we've been eating rubbish for the last week too. And on the good side, this baby sleeps and feeds at reasonable intervals, and is easily pleased by being worn. Yes she's a fusspot in the evenings but really, we've had much worse. However, back then it was only one and I did not walk about with a belly cut in half.

So, I'm just somehow not looking forward to tomorrow. It'll be a challenge I'm more than reluctant to take.



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