Wednesday, 5 May 2010

A walk in the park? I don't think so

I've had it. This pregnancy officially sucks. Please don't get me wrong, I'm eternally grateful that I am pregnant and try my best to keep positive and just enjoy the ride.

Just that those pregnancy hormones play havoc with my system and I'm losing the battle.

For example, I'm not at all impressed that I now sport the 5th cold/cough/respiratory infection since falling pregnant (consider that the first lasted 6 weeks and I'm  months pregnant you can imagine that I've hardly been feeling normal during this pregnancy at all). To make it all worse of course we're allowed to take feck all to ease the symptoms. Which I'm starting to ignore. Bad mum, fine. I'm only human, boo.

Secondly my sense of my body circumference hasn't quite made an appearance yet. I remember that from last time - endless spillages on my belly, as if it had some kind of magnetic capacity to attract liquids, and regular incidents of walking into door handles. It stops being funny if you run full steam into a sharp bolt of the fire escape door at work and walk home with a scratched, bruised and rather sore belly and wonder about fundal height.

I'm not particularly happy about the outcome of my 20 week scan, for all the anxiety about whether baby is fine it never crossed my mind that my placenta could be a trouble maker. Yes, it's better than a problem with baby, and yes, things may still turn out allright, but the prospect of either a c-section in case of placenta praevia or the risks that an emergency c-section would carry if it turns out to be an anterior placenta make it hard to believe my hypnobirthing mantra that birth is safe.

I'm also rather fed up that the one evening that Mr Cartside and I went out TOGETHER to see the amazing Duke Special, I felt sick as a dog thanks to what I guess must be pregnancy induced reflux. Imagine me, trying so hard to enjoy the fabulous gig, while doing my best to not throw up. Effectively, eating in the evening is not a good idea. I'm not sure if my diet is good for growing a baby, but I guess at least it means that this pregnancy I definitely won't put on a whopping 4 stone. Just if I feel like this at 23 weeks, how will I feel in week 36???

Feeling as rubbish as I do, my grand idea that my immune system can be strengthened by eating well and some moderate exercise is binned again. Can't eat, can't walk without feeling oxygen deprived. Vicious circle. Can you tell I'm fed up? I really and truly want to be full of pregnancy glow, knit dozens of cute things for the baby, get out my pregnancy yoga DVD and enjoy what will be my last pregnancy. But even with the best will in the world, enjoyable it is not so far.

My best friends currently are echinacea, zinc, vitamin C, nasal spray (naughty me) and Cubling's hugs.

Rant over.



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